How red is your state?

How red is your state - and, should you be proud if it is?

States where those who identify themselves as ‘conservatives’ (sometimes AKA “Neocons”) predominate are known as “Red States”.

According to them, the liberals, social radicals and moral degenerates predominate in the so-called “Blue States” and are the authors of all the evil that exists in our country and across the globe.

“Conservatives’ as they define themselves like to be known as defenders of morality and good and decency and civilization as we know it.

They tell us conservative Republicans are the only ones standing between American values and degeneracy and moral ruin.

They claim to protect us all - whether we want their protections or not - from insidious contamination by liberals and Democrats.

They man the mighty ramparts of religion against the onslaughts of liberality and all other evil.

They tell us if only they can root out all the liberals and other moral degenerates our democracy will be safe.

But, if one takes the trouble to turn the rock over under which these ‘conservatives’ dwell, another not-so-pretty picture begins to emerge.

A recent article in Vanity Fair by James Wolcott paints a graphic and more disturbing mural of their reality, much at odds with ‘conservative’ claims. I present some of Vanity Fair’s graphics here for your edification. (Click on images to expand):

Some states are very preeminent in legally killing more of their citizens . . .








Certain color states put a higher percentage of their citizens in jail than others . . .







Certain color states seem to need to incarerate more women than others . . .







Deaths by firearms seem to be concentrated in certain states . . .









Some states take the lead in gambling or 'gaming' as it is euphemistically termed in Godly places . . .










Certain color states lead in fat heads . . . and that refers to head sizes, not smarts!








Certain states seem to lead in suicides . . .








Guess which color states seem to be leaders in numbers of divorces per 1000?








Many states breed more illegitimate children than others . . .









But, then there are those blue state folks who are apparently overeducated . . .

An Interview with Attorney General of the U.S. Alberto Gonzales

An Interview with Alberto Gonzales, Attorney General of the United States:

Interviewer: Yes sir Mr. Attorney General. I'd like to ask you a few questions if I may about the new Border Fence Act of 2006 just signed by President Bush.


Attorney General Gonzales: Thank you. Fire away. But I must ask you to be brief as I have a very busy schedule this morning.

Interviewer: Yes sir. Sir, I wanted to ask you if you had any personal feelings about the fence since you are of Mexican heritage yourself?

Attorney General Gonzales: Yes I am of Mexican heritage but I'd ask you to keep in mind that I am second generation and my family has Castilian roots. That puts my family several notches above your common Mestizo wetback. One of the proudest moments of my life was to finally be treated like an equal by our President.

Interviewer: Well, I'm surprised to hear you put it that way sir. Aren't both Mexico and the United States democracies, without class distinctions?

Attorney General Gonzales: Well yes and no. Yes, we are both democracies, and the reality is of course there ARE class distinctions. For example in Mexico you have your folks with Castilian roots and then your Mestizo, and of course here in the US your folks with money and power, like Republicans, and then you have your blacks, your Mestizo wetbacks and always of course a lot of your poor white trash.

Interviewer: Yes sir. But back to the fence. Do you support the fence and do you believe it will help the illegal immigrant situation?


Attorney General Gonzales: Yes, I support the fence. Just the notion of it should help the Republican Party considerably. But, it's not like we're gonna be funding it or anything. Just the idea of it really appeals to the poor white trash who are our main voting base. They can't stand the idea of those poor wetbacks coming into the country and taking jobs they're too lazy to do themselves. It won't do much to stop illegals though. They'll probably just tunnel under as they do now.

Interviewer: Well, if it's not going to be funded, how will it ever be built?

Attorney General Gonzales: Well, that's the beauty of it see? There's volunteer groups out there just clamoring to build it, and already raising private money to build the thing. For example there's an outfit calling themselves the 'Minuteman Civil Defense Corps' raising money like mad. They're your run of the mill far Right Wing militia zealots of course and need keeping an eye on, but they are raising funds. And, don't forget the militias are a big constituent part and backbone of the Republican base.

Interviewer: Will the fence get built then?

Attorney General Gonzales: Well no, it probably won't ever be built but that's not what matters. What matters is that we give it great lip service and just get it started. That'll give Republicans a leg up for the upcoming election. After that it won't matter and if it does come back up again we'll always blame the Democrats for blocking it. It's not like our voting base has a long term memory or anything. It's a win-win-win all the way around!

Interviewer: Well Mr. Attorney General, how are you viewing the overall security of our country these days?

Attorney General Gonzales: The country's in great danger at home and abroad. There's a bogeyman everywhere you look and Republicans are the only ones standing between evil and harm to our country. We've just gotten great new weapons to help us, thanks to our Republican controlled Congress. As you know, fear is what keeps Republican in power. May it always be so!

Interviewer: I guess you're referring to the recent Military Commissions Act which abolishes Habeas Corpus and allows torture of prisoners?

Attorney General Gonzales: Well, I wouldn't put it exactly that way, but yes, there are new arrows in our quiver. Since the Supreme court threw out our earlier weapons we desperately needed the MCA which gives us the tools to fight the Global War On Terror.

Interviewer: As White House Counsel and later as Attorney General of the United States you have encouraged the President in the use of torture, the suspension of Habeas Corpus, and the secret rendition of prisoners. Don't you feel that may be viewed as stepping beyond the bounds of your sworn duty to uphold the laws?

Attorney General Gonzales: Listen. This is a Global War On Terror! We need all the tools we can get to fight this war. Our own violations of stupid laws become secondary.

Interviewer: But, it's not just against the law! A lot of what is happening is also unconstitutional!

Attorney General Gonzales: Unconstitutional is what we say it is. Violations of the law are what we say they are. We're in control! When you're in control you make your own laws and rules! We're the greatest power on earth today.

Interviewer: But you are granting an illegal power to the President, and to his administration, which goes far beyond anything in the past. Aren't you concerned about too much power - about a dictatorship?

Attorney General Gonzales: This President has only the country's best interest in mind. If this were some other President like Clinton for example, yes, I would be worried. But Republicans are the only real Americans left. All those Democrats and liberals are just a bunch of pinko commies we're eventually going to have to deal with in some fashion and in due course - and we will if we can just stay in power long enough.

Interviewer: The US is receiving a great deal of international condemnation because of our internationally illegal actions. Aren't you worried that will hurt the United States?

Attorney General Gonzales: Listen, we're the most powerful nation on earth. If those other nations were - and I emphasize the word 'IF' - if they were ever strong enough to go toe to toe with the US militarily I might be a little more concerned. Until then we're gonna have things our way and as long as this President is in charge.

Interviewer: But aren't you worried we'll be viewed as oppressors, and other nations will get together to resist us? After all, history is full of cases where people and nations got tired of being ruled by someone else and eventually all got together to defeat their oppressors.

Attorney General Gonzales: I'd be careful if I were you! You're getting awfully close to the line! Don't forget I AM the Attorney General. You can't go around calling the US an oppressor! You cross over that line and your ass is mine!

Interviewer: Yes sir. Now sir. Sorry sir. I?m not calling anybody anything. I don't personally want to get defined as a threat somehow. I'm only asking questions.

Attorney General Gonzales: Well, I'm warning you! Be careful! You're getting pretty damned close to being an Unlawful Enemy Combatant and possibly giving aid and comfort to our enemies.

Interviewer: Sir, I'd just like to ask you about your sworn duties as Attorney General.

Attorney General Gonzales: Yes?

Interviewer: Well sir. As Attorney General aren't you sworn to uphold all the laws of the United States? How can ignore certain laws, or advise the President to ignore laws he doesn't like?

Attorney General Gonzales: I’ve already told you, the law is what I say it is!

Interviewer: Yes sir. But the written law, the laws passed by Congress and signed by previous Presidents are being routinely ignored! Basic and long-standing traditional constitutional rights are being routinely violated. How can it be that the Attorney General of the United States, duty bound and sworn to uphold those laws can . . . . . .

Attorney General Gonzales: (Interrupting) We're bound by no laws signed by any previous presidents! Especially any signed by some damned pinko Democrat!

Interviewer: But sir! Those are laws passed by the United States Congress. You can't . . . .
Attorney General Gonzales: (Interrupting) Don't try to tell me I can't! By God that does it!
You've finally crossed the line! I hereby declare you an Unlawful Enemy Combatant and a terrorist danger to the United States!

Interviewer: But, please, Mr. Attorney General Gonzales! I'm just a reporter working for my newspaper to get an interview and news story! I'm no danger to the United States and I certainly am not a terrorist or an enemy combatant . . .

Attorney General Gonzales: (Interrupting) Silence! You are what I say you are! And I say you are an Unlawful Enemy combatant and terrorist and you will now be dealt with accordingly!

Interviewer: But please sir!. I need to call my lawyer and my employer, and my wife! Please don't do this to me sir!

Attorney General Gonzales: Too late for you boyo! I told you to be silent! You're calling no one! You're out of here! We'll have no more of your damned seditious attitude and giving aid and comfort to the enemy! Anything you try to say or do now only hurts your case more. I doubt you'll ever see daylight again as it is!

Guards!

NOTE: The above is a parody of what might and could happen under the present system in the United States of America today . . . .

Stay The Curse!

When I was a kid and you went to the movies you always knew deep inside that no matter how bad it got, how many bad guys were out there, no matter how hopeless the situation looked, you always knew the good guys in the white hats were gonna pull it out.

It might be at the last possible minute, but the good guys always won in the movies. Maybe there was a law or something back then, or maybe it was just the times, but no matter what, when you left that Saturday matinee you felt satisfied that good, and right, and wholesome had triumphed once again. The good but humble cowboy smiled at the pretty girl and kissed his horse and rode off into the sunset.

But for the past five or six years in our country it has looked awfully like the early parts of those old cowboy movies. You know the parts where the evil, snarly bandit/lying horse thief/cattle rustler/no good dry-gulcher terrorized the church women and had their way with the little cattle town, or poor rancher, or kindly old farmer, or hard working widow woman, or threadbare preacher or whatever. Of course the pretty daughter was obligatory too. Only in our late nightmare, it has sure seemed the bad guys held all the cards and power and there are no pretty daughters in sight.

The current bad guys control the entire government, from the White House on down. Their minions control the media machines, the big rapacious corporations and banks, and even most of the preachers are propagandizing for them in a maniacal and overweening fit of ascendancy. Often it seems their unrestrained power reaches orgiastic levels. Truth is what they said it is, and hang all reality.

The entire country has been full of bad guys every where you looked. Liars, corrupt politicians, schemers, con men, ruthless plunderers and philanderers. But, just like in the movies maybe you still keep this faint hope, this lonely, forlorn yearning that somehow, sometime, goodness will finally prevail against all the evil doers and triumph yet one more time.

And just like in the old cowboy movies, evil is at last once again imploding in upon itself. Like a merciless landslide, the transgressions of the bad guys are now reaching such an ominously critical mass for them, they have begun to avalanche down on the evil doers like so many megatons of inexorable rubble.

The corruption, the lies, the deceit, and the overreaching evil is now destroying those who would destroy the democratic foundations of our nation. The bad guys are running frantically for cover and turning upon each other like frantic rats. Like a cracked and stuck record, their leaders continue to repeat the same things over and over, but the world now tunes them out and hears them no more. And, when they do try to change their tune they only demonstrate their perfidy and hollowness all the more.

Thus for example, you have the spectacle of the current President of the United States claiming with a straight face there has never been any policy of “Stay the Course” in Iraq. Forget those are the actual words he himself has used on many occasions!

(SEE IT IN HIS OWN WORDS RIGHT HERE!)

I mean, does our President really think we the people are that stupid? Most obviously!

The good guys are finally winning! Maybe we will in the end be able to STAY THE CURSE!

Bush II War Planning

BUSH II ADMINISTRATION WAR PLANNING FLOW CHART
* (Click on the image above to expand)

The Bush II administration has been widely criticized for lack of planning, or for having no plan at all the the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. However, there is no truth to those assertions.

Very formalized plans are now coming to light through undisclosed sources who wish to remain anonymous. In fact, both wars are proceeding in close accordance with generic war flow charts prepared prior to Bush II ever taking office.

Much criticism is directed at the lack of any war exit strategies, but as these charts demonstrate there is a very clear exit strategy for each war.

Within the inner circles of this administration these exit strategies are known as the “BABU” Strategies, an acronym for “Blame Anyone But Us”.

Whatever you call things, this chart will lay to rest once and for all any doubts about lack of planning for these wars.

Too Much Damned Truth Tellin'!

A very upset and angry President George W. Bush stomped into the small White House room where his senior advisor Karl Rove was getting one of his twice daily body massages. Bush flopped down on the couch with the presidential spokesdog Barney. He was so upset he was visibly trembling.

“Dammit, Turd-blossum!” said Mr. Bush. “Things are just gettin’ out of hand and you gotta fix it!”

“All right Junior,” said Mr. Rove as he daintily and carefully wiped oil from his wrists with kleenex. “What do you want me to do for you?”

“Well, dammit Karl, you’re just gonna have to do something! There’s ‘way too much truth-telling goin' on around here these days. It’s bad enough the Republican Party is in the biggest freaking meltdown in political history. But now, you have all these bozos coming out of the woodwork a-tellin’ the truth an’ all, and there’s no tellin’ where that’s gonna take us or how it's gonna reflect on me either! You’ve just gotta put a stop to it and I mean right damned now!”

“Well, OK Junior. Just which bozos are you referring to?”

“Hell, I’m a-talkin’ about damned near all a them!” screamed Bush. “I mean the last one was that there army general what’s his name. General Major, I mean Major General Caldwell who’s supposed to be our military expert and spokesman on the ground there in Eye-Rack. He just hauled off and said we are being counterproductive, whatever in the hell that means! The press is all over it for Christ’s sake! We cain’t stand no damned more truth-tellin’!”

“Hell, the SOB even said our last crackdown in Eye-Rack is a freaking failure! And Karl, you know how I hate that word ‘failure’ doncha? Ever since folks found out what turned up when they did an internet search for that word what turned up. Dammit, cain’t I depend on any damned body any more?”


“OK Junior,” said Rove diplomatically. “I’ll see what I can do.”

“Do hell!” Screamed Bush. “I want you to put a damned stop to it! This has gone ‘way too far. What the hell do you think this is going to do to my legacy as President?”

“Well Junior,” commented Rove. “I think your presidential legacy is pretty much already set in stone and there’s no way anyone can damage it any more. I wouldn’t worry myself anymore about that.”

Bush’s eyes spun in his head as he shouted, “Dammit Turd-Blossum! All this damned truth-tellin’ is the freaking reason! I mean just look at all the damage! First, way back when you had that damned White House Budget Advisor Lawrence Lindsey claiming the Iraq war could cost over $200 billion all at the same time Rumsfeld was saying it was lot’s less than $50 billion. We fired that sumbitch Lindsey the same day for that damned bit of truth-tellin’ and that put the fear o’ God in the rest of ‘em. That’s what I mean!”

“And at least some folks like Colin Powell got the hell out of the administration without gettin’ into the truth-tellin’ game. Where’s that kinda loyalty today?”

“Well, I already said I’d see what I can do Junior.” said Rove calmly. “I’ll go to work on it as soon as I get back from lunch between my massages.”

“Lunch, smunch you four-eyed fat-assed pervert!” screamed Bush. “Either you get started on this right-damned-now or I’m gonna fire your big fat ass!”

Now showing some temper himself, Rove said quite nastily, “I’m sorry Junior, but I don’t think so. You better take that up with Dick Cheney before you get hold of something you can’t handle. You just damned sure don’t want to go there.”

At that, Rove grabbed an orange from the nearby fruit bowl and hurled it at Bush’s head before heading back to the massage table shaking his head from side to side. "Tsk, tsk, tsk" he clucked.
“Nennh, nennh, nennh to you too you big fatty cakes!” sneered Bush as he grabbed the presidential spokesdog Barney and beat a hasty retreat back to the oval office.

Even Barney seemed a considerably nonplussed.

What Planet Are These Guys From?

REALLY! What planet did they get these guys from and how did they ever get down here?

Do they actually believe people will continue to buy their fantasies?

VP Richard Cheney is NOT a popular American, maintaining as he does an even lower approval rating than George W. Bush. On 10/18/06 Cheney met with TIME MAGAZINE’S Mike Allen and James Carney in the sitting room of the Vice President's house in Washington to discuss the elections, Iraq and more.

INTERVIEWER'S QUESTION: What do you think a Democratic House would be like?

CHENEY: "Well, I don't expect that to happen. . . . . .One of the things I do talk about on the campaign trail is the importance of what we've been able to do with tax policy. . . . If Charlie Rangel (Democrat) were to be Chairman of the Ways and Means Committee, he would put at risk . . . .he would put at risk some of the best economic policy this nation has seen in a long time. It has produced phenomenal results for the economy."

(Could Cheney possibly be referring to giving a $500 billion tax break to the wealthiest Americans while dropping many vital public services - even health care for wounded veterans - and being responsible for the largest deficit in history? After the highest surplus in history? Or maybe he's referring to the stock market which has finally re-reached the high point it was prior to Bush taking office over six and one-half years ago, albeit with a dollar which has thoroughly depreciated since then?)

INTERVIEWER'S QUESTION: How long do you think it will be before the average American sees going to Iraq as a good idea?

(I confess. I had to snort with disbelief at this question - and almost choked myself!)

CHENEY: "That will all depend upon the final outcome. I think it's difficult to judge, . . . .I think we've done the right thing. I think we're doing the right thing now. I firmly believe that. The President firmly believes it."

(Really? Staying the course? That’s only digging a deeper hole! Even the senior generals - who actually have some war experience, almost universally say this is a fact.)

"It's going to be tough to finish the task, but I think it's very important that we complete the task."

(now that may well be true . . . but this administration is very obviously going to leave that up to their sucessors, and it looks like that may take even longer than the ten years wasted in Vietnam before Nixon finally decided to “Cut and Run”.

INTERVIEWER'S QUESTION: There's certainly a lot of talk in Washington that there will be a search for an exit strategy after the election.

CHENEY: "I know what the President thinks. I know what I think. And we're not looking for an exit strategy; we're looking for victory."

(Yeah right! They’ve been looking for that ever since ‘Mission Accomplished” over three years ago! Maybe they should try looking under the cabbage leaf. Trouble is “Staying the Course” is never going to produce it!)

INTERVIEWER'S QUESTION: Mr. Vice President, if you had to take back any one thing you'd said about Iraq, what would it be?

CHENEY: "I expressed the sentiment some time ago that I thought we were over the hump in terms of violence, I think that was premature. . ."

(God Almighty! Do tell!)

An Interview with Alaska's Senator Stevens

Alaska’s senior Senator Ted Stevens watches with dismay the erosion of the gains made by Republicans over the past decade.

Declaring that Republicans had ‘unfinished business’ to attend to and the country would make a huge mistake to ‘let all this slip into the sea’, Stevens was unwavering about ‘staying the course’.

“Hmrmp, er, ah, I think and I oughta say . . just let me say that . . . What’s that?” said the Senator. “What’s that? Well, yes you can quote me on that.”

“And I can tell you this, and it won’t be for the first time either, aha, ah, ah, uh. No Sir! What I mean to say is by golly, I WILL RESIGN FROM THE SENATE before I’ll let that happen! I mean it too! Not like the last time I ah, ah said that . . . no, Sir.”

When asked by a reporter why the public should elect a Republican congress today, the Senator was adamant:

“Well by golly, just you ah look at what Republicans have done for the country since we’ve ah, er, er, ah, been in power. We’ve, we’ve, we’ve protected the country against ah, terrorism, uh, uh. And, we’re uh, uh, uh, gonna build a big fence to ah, ah, keep those illegal wetbacks, I mean spicks, I mean, ah, ah, aliens where they belong. We’re ah, uh, fighting a war in Eye-Rack, and uh, uh, what’s the name of that other place? Yeah, I mean ah, ah Afghan too, ah, ah.”

“And just you look at the economy! Under the Republicans the economy is ah, ah now all the way ah, ah, back to where it was six years, ah, ah, ago, when we took, ah, over the administration.”

“And, we’ve got that Patriot Act now which uh, ah, ah let’s, I mean helps, ah, us, ah, keep the liberals, I mean Democrats, I mean terrorists in . . . an’ gives us the weapons we need to protect the ah, the ah, the party . . . I mean the country - the nation I mean.”

“And make no mistake! Our ah, ah, uh resolve is firm and ah, ah, uh, ah, fer, fer, fer, fervent! We’re ah, ah, ah determined to protect this great nation, and ah, ah, ah the oil companies, and the financial districts, ah, ah, and all the churches of course. Make ah, make ah, no mistake!”

“But sir,” one reporter asked, “The prevailing opinion now is that the war in Iraq was a huge mistake, and this administration has butchered the Constitution and is violating individual human rights on a huge scale . . . . “

The Senator interrupted, “Now just an ah, ah minute! I told you I WOULD RESIGN FROM THE SENATE IF I DON’T GET MY, AH, AH, WAY! I ah, ah, ah don’t know how I can be any more clear than, ah, ah, ah THAT! GET THE HELL OUT OF MY WAY YOU UNGRATEFUL PEON! Hrmmph, aha.”