Friday, May 18, 2007

Wheels Done Run Off

Mountains of West Virginia, 5/17/07:

A roving reporter traveling through the West Virginia mountains was surprised to see a Texakan style RV sitting all broken down and forlorn by the side of the road. Hung over from the evening's reveling from the night before, he wiped his bleary eyes to make sure of what he saw. Sure enough, it was a Texakan RV. Believing the RV'ers may need assistance he pulled over to offer aid. That's when he saw the license plate reading 'RNC-1' and did a double take.

"Doggone! That's the president's rig!" he said to himself. "Man, what's that thing doing out here all by itself looking so bad? Something sure doesn't look right!" He stopped his car and walked over to the RV and knocked on the door. He was flabbergasted when the president himself opened the door.

"What'n hell yew want?" demanded an obviously inebriated President Bush.

"Yes Sir. No Sir." stammered the surprised reporter. "Yes Sir. I just stopped to see if you needed any help."

"Wail, I reckon I might, see'ns how's ever'body done gone off and left me." answered the president. "They's sayin' the wheels done run off my administration bandwagon and they's ain't a-ridin' with me enny more. They's a-bailin' out on me right'n left. What ain't left they own self is gittin' run off. I mean jist lookit. Mos' of my Corrupt Bastards is gittin' caught or in trouble with the law. Then yew got Scooter Libby goin' to jail, an' my token wetback Alberto Gonzales in trouble, and then they's after Paul Wolfowitz. They're gonna have all my Bastards in jail before long."

"An' on top of that, now Jerry Falwells done gone and died! Hail, now I'm out here tryin' to drive my bandwagon all by myself and jist between yew an' me, I don't know shit from Shinola. Iffen it weren't for folks helpin' me, and picking up behind me I wouldn't git noplace. I think I may be in a heap o' trouble."

The reporter answered. "Well, if you don't mind my saying so Mr. President, things are looking pretty damned rough for you around here right now. Your administration bandwagon has sure gotten all off the tracks, and hammered, wrecked and shopworn around the edges. And, yes, all your people are jumping ship all right. Your generals are coming out against you. Your party's turning against you, your supporters are abandoning you. Even your most hard line supporters in the Senate are coming out against you."

"And, it damned sure does look like the wheels have run off things for you. Now, if you don't mind sir, I must be on my way!"

"Wait! Wait!" yelled the president as our reporter drove away. "Yew cain't leave me out here like this, dammit! I'm yer War President!"

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