Wednesday, December 31, 2008

2008 Highlights & Gutbusters

The year 2008 in review:

The highlights of 2008 for me, and proof positive that the Easter Bunny gods sure do have a sense of humor:

1: The video of President Bush nimbly ducking two shoes thrown his way during a press conference;

2: Seeing the merry, fun-loving face of Alaska Senator Ted Stevens on the front page of the newspapers the day he was indicted;

3: Watching Sarah Palin's infamous 'turkey pardon' video;

4: Tina Fey playing Sarah Palin - simply by repeating Palin's words verbatim;

5: Ann Coulter's jaw being wired shut;

6: OJ's court conviction and sentence;

7: Elliot Spitzer's $1000/hour date who trashed his entire life and career;

8: John McCain's statement "the fundamentals of our economy are strong" one whole week before the biggest economic meltdown in over 70 years;

9: "Joe the plumber", who campaigned for McCain, and turned out to be a non-plumber, back-taxes-owing deadbeat;

10: And who can forget Sarah Palin's daughter Bristol - raised on the strict 'abstinence' principle - showing up 7 months pregnant right after Palin's selection as McCain's VP pick?

Yepper, there were lot's of other things too, and it sure turned out to be a gut-busting year all right!

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Holiday Songs For People in the News

GW Bush:
  • The Nightmare Before Christmas;
  • We Three Kings Disoriented Are

Dick Cheney:
  • You Better Watch Out;
  • Do You Hear What I hear?;

Larry Craig:
  • Nuts to You;
  • Nut Cracker;
  • (Chest)nuts Roasting on an Open Fire;
  • Silver Balls

Mark Foley:
  • What Child is This;
  • Oh Come Let Us Adore Him

Barack Obama:
  • Joy To The World;
  • Go Tell It On The Mountain

Jesse Jackson:
  • Should Auld Acquaintance Be Forgot?

Michael Jackson:
  • The Little Drummer Boy;
  • What Child Is This?

John McCain:
  • I'll be home for Christmas;
  • Silent Night

Bernard Madoff:
  • Sleigh Ride;
  • Fleeced Navidad

Sarah Palin:
  • I'll Have a Blue, Blue Christmas;
  • Never Do a Tango With An Eskimo;
  • Baby, It's Cold Outside

Condoleeza Rice:
  • I'm Dreaming Of A White Christmas

Monday, December 29, 2008

Lest we forget

As the day approaches when, thankfully, US president George W. Bush leaves office finally and for good, it is good to look back at some of the firsts and milestones for this person:

George W. Bush is the first person to:
  • Be the Texas governor who officially proclaimed an official 'Jesus Day';

  • Be the first US president ever elected to office by the US Supreme Court;

  • Be the US president who ignored all warnings to preside over an attack on US soil which took more lives than any on record;

  • Be the US president who squandered unprecedented international goodwill towards our country after 9/11, and turned it into active international hatred against our nation in a mere twelve months;

  • Achieve the lowest approval rating for any US president in history (as low as 17%);

  • Achieve the highest DISAPPROVAL rating for any US president ever recorded (78%);

  • Be the ONLY US president to have an official 'Absent Without Leave (AWOL) on his record;

  • Be the US president to enter office with the HIGHEST budget surplus on record;

  • Be the US president to leave office with the highest budget DEFICT on record;

  • Be the first US president to leave office with stock market averaging 10% below the level when he took office;

  • Be the only US president to preside over a SECOND US and international DEPRESSION;

  • Be the first US president to officially sanction torture;

  • Be the first US president to officially sanction wiretapping of US citizens - without warrants;

  • Be the first US president to engage our country in a 'preemptive' war against another country;

  • Be the only US president to withdraw official support for the international Anti-Ballistic Missile Treaty;

  • Be the only US president to withdraw official support for the Kyoto Protocol - an international treaty to reduce global warming emissions;

  • Be the first US president to pass a law authorizing imprisonment of US citizens without trial - the Patriot Act;

  • Be the only US president to officially sanction the denial of habeas corpus for US citizens;

  • Be the only US president ever to instruct political operatives to override scientific data with political doggerel;

  • Be the only US president to implement a tax cut for the richest 5% of the people in the face of massive national budget deficits;

  • Be the only person in history more disliked by Arabs than Israelis - 3 times more hated than Ariel Sharon in fact;

  • Be the only US president to preside over a national disaster - Hurricane Katrina in New Orleans - where federal response was so pathetic that international aid was offered by dozens of other countries;

  • Be the only US president to be awarded the International Medal of Peace (by the Global Peace Coalition) in the midst of two wars, one of which was an unprovoked invasion of another country by that president;

  • Be the only US president in history to have shoes hurled at his head during a press conference.
And, lest we forget - let's keep in mind these other memorable events and happenings during the year 2008 from HUFFINGTON POST . . . .

Monday, December 22, 2008

President Bush to Undergo Sex Change

In a quiet, but sensational and possibly explosive announcement, US President George W. Bush revealed he intends to undergo a sex change operation in his first year out of office. He admitted he has been receiving hormone therapy for the past 12 months. He also hinted that his 'good buddy' Vladimir Putin of Russia might also join him in Stockholm, Sweden for a similar operation.

"All's I know is I've always felt more comfortable when I let my feminine side show." said Bush. "Being 'macho' has always been tough for me and I finally had to admit it to myself. And, I think Pootie feels exactly the same way I do."

"One problem though is this is really pissing off Karl Rove and making him very jealous. I had to tell him to 'just get over it'."

There are unconfirmed rumors that radio talk show host Rush Limbaugh was also so disturbed and livid with jealousy he has been forced to take a leave of absence for an unspecified period of time.

Dr. Richard Ingram of the Gender Identity Clinic at the Belfast City Hospital in Belfast, Northland Ireland is Bush's consulting psychiatrist for the operation.

Ingram commented, "Ever since I first took note of President Bush in 2000 I've realized he was terribly conflicted about his sexual identity. The unmistakeable signs are all there. There's the incessant need to always 'prove' his machismo such as by invading other nations and saying stupid macho things like 'Bring it on!'; There's Bush's penchant for going around in 'girlie' dress; There's his unabashed holding hands in public with other men, such as with the Saudi Prince, who Bush also blessed with a decidedly non-brotherly kiss on the lips."

"But, probably and most tellingly, there's the suggestive and cocky demonstration of 'manliness' Bush always seeks to portray, such as his strutting about on the flight deck of an aircraft carrier wearing a huge codpiece. I've examined Mr. Bush physically, and let me tell you, that was all for show, as there's no substance to it. Or as I'm told they say in Texas, it was 'All hat and no cattle'.

"Yes sir." said Dr. Ingram. "If there ever was a perfect candidate for a sex change operation it is President George W. Bush. In fact, I would go so far as to say the world would be infinitely better off had Mr. Bush received this operation twenty years ago."

Ingram said the operation itself presented little danger, although there is always the potential for failure. He pointed to the botched job done on columnist Ann Coulter who prior to her operation was a septic tank pump operator going by the name of Arnie. "That one is an unfortunate classic." he said. "but, I didn't have anything to do with it."

Dr. Ingram released a copy of his referral letter, which is reproduced below. (Click to view full size)

President Bush says there's only one thing he absolutely insists on, and that is 'that I don't wind up looking like my Mom'.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

A Presidential Lament

Oh, what to do when a shoe is threw?

Oh, what to do? What to Do?

Straight through the air it flew,

Square at my head with an aim so true,

Oh, what to do? What to do?

Duck and weave, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh?

Oh My God, I don't have a clue!

Oh, what to do when a shoe is threw?

Oh, what to do? What to do?

And, he threw not one shoe, but two!

Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh!

Hell, I'm even the President too!

Oh, what to do? What to do?

It all caused a humongous big to-do,

And made a hero for all Arabs to look to,

And created one big international stew.

Oh, what to do? What to do?

I could claim it's all a lie and untrue,

But, it's payed on TV for most anyone to view,

Hell, I might have to take up tae kwon do!

Oh, what to do? What to do?

I looked so darned stupid in playback reviews,

In all-dogoned-day-long deja vus!

And, no President ever faced this hitherto,

Oh, what to do? What to do?

Monday, December 15, 2008

Our President Gets a New Pair of Shoes

President George W. Bush got a new pair of shoes yesterday. They were flung at him during a news conference in Baghdad. An Iraqi TV reporter removed his shoes and threw them at Bush, one after the other. Bush ducked and they both missed. The reporter, Muntazer al-Zaidi of independent iraqi al-Baghdadiya television was arrested and taken into custody.

The current iraqi government, installed by the US has called the incident a "a barbaric and ignominious act". But, Al-Zaidi became an instant hero and celebrity in iraq and everywhere in the Arab world where 'disrespecting' someone with a shoe is a supreme insult. Many people there consider the illegal invasion of their country by US and 'coalition' forces to be barbaric and ignominious. Accurate figures are not available, but hundreds of thousands are believed to have been killed in the war.

Bush nimbly ducked the shoes as they came flying at him, and later airily dismissed the incident as just something to get attention. It got attention all right and is now the talk of the entire Arab world. In fact, it was so remarkable that anytime Bush now makes an appearance and does NOT have shoes thrown at him is considered a huge success." CBS headlines of Bush's later visit to Afghanistan read: "Shoes Stay On For Bush In Afghanistan"

Friday, December 12, 2008

Leaving town on the next thing smoking.

The Bush administration is packing up and looking for the next flight out of town.

Most can't wait.

Apparently, most of them are finally conceding to themselves what the rest of the country - and the world - have known for some time now. They are in a rush to put anything associated with the two Bush administrations and the last eight years behind them.

That's with the possible exception of president George W. Bush himself and his wife Laura of course. Bush's White House office has issued a two page letter of instructions to cabinet members telling them to emphasize the 'successes' of his presidency.

Successes? SUCCESSES?

The Bush White House - at taxpayer expense of course - established a formal 'Bush Legacy Team' to work on the official 'Bush Legacy Plan'. The White House sent a 2-page memo with 'talking points' to cabinet members and other high ranking administration officials entitled, "Speech Topper on the Bush Record".

The reason?

To burnish the official record of a president with the lowest approval rating on record - 24% and still falling. "What we have in mind with these documents is we feel the president's many accomplishments haven't been given the attention they deserve and in some cases have been purposely ignored," explained Carlton Carroll, a White House spokesman.

Accomplishments? ACCOMPLISHMENTS? Apparently self delusion knows no boundaries!

The memo totally fails any mention of the colossal and record setting FAILURES of the Bush administrations:

An illegal war costing upwards of a trillion dollars and many thousands of lives;

The illegal denial of habeas corpus and detention for hundreds of people without charges for upwards of seven years;

The Abu Garaib (and other) torture scandals;

The illegal wiretapping without warrants of American citizens;

The wholesale attacks on the US Constitution;

Unprecedented attacks on environmental laws and regulations on the books for decades, in favor of giant corporations;

Tax breaks for the very richest people in the country while ignoring the needs of the less fortunate - including returning veterans of overseas wars;

The most devastating damage and destruction of the economy of the United States and the entire world since the Great Depression;

The list goes on and on - but you get the drift.

The president's wife Laura Bush has also been enlisted in the effort, and appeared on a ABC's 'Nightline' and loyally championed her husband saying, "I think the history book says he's a very, very strong president."

Maybe so. But, methinks not.

Perhaps there's no more iconic and illustrative example of the ineptness of Bush et al than the loss of the Bush Library's web site domain name '' The name had been purchased from a private citizen who had foreseen its value and reserved the name. The Bush Library Foundation paid $3,000 for it just last year. However, through oversight, it was allowed to expire, was grabbed up by an alert 'cyber squatter' and the foundation was then forced to repurchase the domain name - this time for $35,000!

No one can deny some serious burnishment was not sorely needed needed for a president who was not even allowed to attend his own party's national convention in September! Neither was his Vice President, who, along with Bush was avoided like the plague by other high party members.

Sad really.

Saturday, December 06, 2008

Sarah Palin Mastercard Ad

Unpublished Mastercard ad:

Campaign yard sign for Obama/Biden - free;

Bumper sticker for Obama/Biden - $3.00;

Trip expenses and ticket to the Democratic Convention - $5000;

Sarah Palin turkey video - priceless!

"There's some things money can't buy. For everything else there's Mastercard."

Friday, December 05, 2008


(1) Denial - (di-nahy-uhl) - a defense mechanism postulated by Sigmund Freud, in which a person is faced with a fact that is too uncomfortable to accept and rejects it instead, insisting that it is not true despite what may be overwhelming evidence;

(2) denial - (di-nahy-uhl) - In Psychology. an unconscious defense mechanism used to reduce anxiety by denying thoughts, feelings, or facts that are consciously intolerable;

(3) denial - (di-nahy-uhl) - In Law, a refusal to acknowledge the validity of an accusation, claim, suit;

Example 'A': Idaho politician Larry Craig's consistent denials of homosexual misconduct in the face of facts, as in in 1982 with Congressional pages;

Example 'B': and against in 2008 after his arrest in the men's room at the Minneapolis airport and later guilty plea in court:

However, Craig does insist Bill Clinton is a 'nasty, naughty boy' for having consensual heterosexual sex. Go figure!

(4) De Nile - (di-nahy-uhl) - (The) Nile river in North Africa is considered the longest river in the world. If you are caught 'up there without a paddle' it might be considered a very unhappy situation. Perhaps similar to the one the United States is faced with in Iraq today.


Sarah Palin's Extreme Makeover

Doggone! Turns out putting lipstick on a pit bull can be a very expensive proposition! Seems that turning a hockey mom into a pit bull attack dog is way more expensive than most of us might have imagined.

First were all those fancy clothes - about $150,000 worth more or less. I never realized you could spend that much on clothing for one person, but it seems I am naive and pretty much out of the loop on what constitutes 'suitable clothing' and what that costs. Besides, we are told that not all of the money was spent on Sarah, but some went for husband 'Iron Dog Todd' and their children - maybe $20,000 or so.

My wife and I estimate that we spend on the average, less than $500 a year on clothing for the both of us - but then again, I guess we're probably just miserly and overly conservative. I'm very humbled. I'm gonna check to see if I can start spending more so I can get more mainstream on these sorts of things.

But that's not all. Sarah's makeover cost another $68,400 for makeup (damn, that lipstick sure must be expensive!), and then roughly $42,225 for hair styling. My goodness, all I can think is there sure must of been some god-awful tangles in those 'do's' of hers! Whoo boy!

But, that's still not all! The Republican National Committee is saying another 'less that $30,000' worth of clothing expenses for Sarah would show up in their latest campaign report. Maybe that was for undergarments, or panty hose or something.

Good gosh a-mighty! She was either one more horrendous wreck of a hockey mom to start off with, or they must have surely turned her into one more fancy gold-plated Pit Bull - or maybe a lot of both!

On the other hand the RNC tells us what makes her so attractive to the Republican base is that she's just your normal small-town regular gal, down to earth and just like everybody else. Yeah, buddy.

Sarah's running mate, John McCain was belligerently defensive when reporters questioned him about her clothing expense. "What would you have the woman do?" he flared. "Walk out on stage in the all together?"

Then his eyes suddenly misted over and he seemed lost in some sort of reverie until Cindy McCain snapped her fingers sharply in front of his face several times.

Thursday, December 04, 2008

Are Red States Hazardous to Your Health??

Could Red States be Hazardous to Your Health??

Short answer?

Well, hell yes! (Click on colored chart below to expand):

Recent studies now show that statistically, the Red State mindset leads to an unhealthy life style. I don't suppose this comes as any real surprise since conspicuous consumption is one of the defining hallmarks of Red Staters' doctrine.

But, to have it bourn out in statistical studies is sort of eye opening isn't it? Here's a chart of the data gathered by the United Health Foundation

(Maybe it's not called 'Lousy-Anna' for nothing!):

And, here's a down and dirty analysis:

(click on chart to expand)

Where is the outrage?

After over five years, many - most - Americans have turned against George W. Bush's 'War On Terror', (aka: 'War For Oil'). Most of us now know, or at least strongly suspect, that the real reasons for Bush's disastrous war had little to do with national security, and more about corporate interests, and particularly the oil companies'. Indeed, it hardly could have been otherwise, given both the President's and the Vice President's industrial-strength connections with the oil industry.

We now know or suspect, that corporate influence and corporatocracy were the real crusaders, and the movers and shakers for the war.

The Iraq War episode in our country's history desparately cries out for a thorough overhaul of the US political system. We need to GET THE MONEY OUT and pass some meaningful reforms - with major penalties against the buying of our elected officials. The present "Culture of Corruption" will ruin us all otherwise and it appears sooner rather than later.

Where were our political leaders when it counted? When our country could have had a truly democratic discussion BEFORE rushing off into a war which now everyone agrees is a supremely tragic mistake? Call me naive but it sure seems sort of late to hold that kind of discussion after the fact, with well over 4000 American military lives lost and still counting and no end in sight . . .

Were was the media suspicion? Where were those guardians of the public trust who are SUPPOSED to be suspicious of outrageous government claims? Where are those who were SUPPOSED to question all those specious political statements with NO TRUTH to them at all? Why aren't they now outraged and the royal hoodwinking we were all dealt out at the hands of the powers that be? Why were some, like Fox News such active, actual cheerleaders for the insanity?

Why is the public not outraged that the media so miserably failed, and some actually aided and abetted the forces of darkness? WHERE IS THE OUTRAGE?

There were all those claims - now shown to be baseless - which "proved" Saddam Hussein possessed WMD's. We were told if we didn't invade the sovereign third-world nation or Iraq, our next warning would be a mushroom cloud over some US city. It was all pure, unadulterated fear mongering balderdash and horse poopy from day one. Distortion and lies! In fact, it was all part of an orchestrated plan hashed out BEFORE the Bush administration even took office! Where is the outrage over those huge crimes?

The people in the Bush administration responsible for this should hang their heads in shame. In fact, I can think of several of them who simply should be hanged outright for their crimes against this nation, the world and humanity itself.

Our elected political "leaders" in both the Senate and House of Representative fell all over themselves to authorize Bush"s war. Only 23 senators had the courage to stand up and say "Hey! Wait a minute!". Only one single Republican Senator (Lincoln Chafee of RI) voted against the resolution handing George W. Bush virtually unbridled power to launch a preemptive * war against a nation with zero ties to the WTC attacks. (H.J. Resolution 114, 10/10/02).

The House of Representatives was not much better with the vote being 266 "yeas" to 133 "nays" with NO Republicans among the "nay" votes.

(a) AUTHORIZATION- The President is authorized to use the Armed Forces of the United States as he determines to be necessary and appropriate in order to
(1) defend the national security of the United States against the continuing threat posed by Iraq;"

One would think that our elected leaders might have checked into this issue a bit more before handling over raw power to a President who acted more like a willful 5-year-old with a loaded gun instead of a wise and responsible leader. Honest Republicans who were hoodwinked into supporting this war should be up in arms and after the hides of everyone in Bush's administration responsible for this.

These bozos have set back the Republican Party 50 years at least.

Let us hope the Obama administration picks up the cudgel to deal out punishment where deserved. The world reasonably expects that. If we can not police our own house, how can we expect to 'police the world'?


Tuesday, December 02, 2008

Propaganda Rules of the Bush administration:

1. The truth is whatever you say it is;

Corollary 'A': If you say it enough times it is true by default;


"Knowing these realities, America must not ignore the threat gathering against us. Facing clear evidence of peril, we cannot wait for the final proof -- the smoking gun -- that could come in the form of a mushroom cloud. "

~ George W. Bush, October 7, 2002, Cincinnati, OH

"The problem here is that there will always be some uncertainty about how quickly Saddam can acquire nuclear weapons. But we don't want the smoking gun to be a mushroom cloud."

~ Condoleezza Rice, September 8, 2002, Washington, DC

" . . .inaction might provoke the sight of the first mushroom cloud on one of the major population centers on this planet’."

~ General Tommy R. Franks, the chief of the US Central Command, November 12, 2002

Corollary 'B': Obfuscation of the stupid is necessary;


"You can fool some of the people all the time, and those are the ones you want to concentrate on."
~ George W. Bush

2. Braggadocio is very effective with the simple minded;

Corollary: Bellicosity is best!


“If he thinks he can hide and run from the United States and our allies, he will be sorely mistaken.”
~ George W. Bush in a speech shortly after 9/11, referring to Osama Bin Ladin (over SEVEN years ago)

"wanted, dead or alive"
~ George W. Bush referring to Osama Bin Ladin on 3/20/2003

"bring 'em on"
~ George W. Bush, at a press conference in July, 2003 referring to Iraqi 'insurgents' who have since killed nearly 4000 Americans

Corollary: Cocky strutting and swaggering by a 'War President' impresses the Football watching, gun-toting wannabe Republican base;


Wearing a suggestive 'codpiece' and landing on an aircraft carrier off the California coast to declare 'Mission Accomplished!" - May 1, 2003

3. If you ignore it, it is not there;

Corollary: If you refuse to verbalize it, it doesn't exist;


Never saying the word 'recession' means there isn't one, in spite of the worst economic disaster in almost eighty years.

4. Denial is an effective dodge, even when the whole world knows you are lying through your teeth.

Corollary: The use of a supercilious smirk while lying tells everyone you are letting them in on the joke.


" We must recognize that government intervention is not a cure-all . . .the surest path to that growth is free markets and free people"

~ George W. Bush at the Manhattan Institute 11/12/08 referring to the economic crisis threatening the entire world, brought on by his administration's deregulation of the US financial system on behalf of 'free markets'.