Tuesday, November 14, 2006

George W. Bush Successfully Cloned

Washington, DC, 11/10/06: Scientists today announced the first known cloning of a Human being. Due to the highly controversial nature of this experimental process, the tests were done in a secret location in rural Maryland. "We knew this was theoretically possible." said a spokesman for the cloning team. "But, it's an understatement to say we are blown away by the final results."

In a bombshell announcement specialists also revealed the donor for the clone was none other than US President George W. Bush. Experts on cloning were astonished that the president agreed to be the donor as 'he is so dead set against stem cell research and very idea of cloning.' in the words of one expert.

However, a member of the medical team said Bush likely wished to leave behind a better personal legacy to offset the disaster he's made of his presidency. "President Bush also feels that his participation in this experiment will help moderate the hatred felt for him from all other political spectrums. He must be applauded for his courage." he said.

Another major surprise is the surrogate mother chosen to carry the cloned fetus to term was Ann Coulter, the well known radical right wing columnist. "Her reputation needed quite a bit of help too." said a spokesman. "And, why not kill two birds with one stone? In fact, Ms. Coulter made an excellent surrogate after extensive treatment for her bulimia and obvious emaciation."

But, the experts saved the major bombshell for last when they unveiled the tiny new baby. The cloning team said ultrasounds prior to birth had already revealed the baby would likely be very unusual. However they were completely unprepared for what they saw when Ms. Coulter gave birth.
"During the delivery, we were speechless to see a healthy, fully developed, and very lovable Beagle puppy emerge!" said a team member. "We thought there must be some mistake or some bad joke somehow, but extensive testing indicates the baby is an exact clone of George W. Bush, down to his personality and verbal abilities."

"Tests indicate the DNA is an exact match. At this point we simply do not understand how this came to be." "As you can imagine we are doing all sorts of additional testing and undoubtedly will discover exactly what occurred. Mother and baby are both doing just fine, although Ms. Coulter has needed a great deal of continuing encouragement to keep her breast feeding the baby."

President Bush has not been seen in public since the birth of the clone and has had no announcement. Presidential spokesman Tony Snow claimed to know nothing about the cloning remarking, "It might be like all those missing WMDs - just figments of the imagination."

This article is entirely satire and a figment of the imagination!

Sunday, November 12, 2006

VP Cheney Member of Gay Hunt Club

Casper, Wyoming 11/11/06 (Rioters News Service): It was publicly disclosed today that VP Richard Cheney is a member of a secretive Wyoming gay hunting club. The extraordinary news was disclosed during a court trial for club member charged with male prostitution under Wyoming law.

The accused 'named names' during the trial to show there were many socially elite members in the club. Many well-known and socially prominent names were brought out in open court and first among them was the Vice President's.

Cheney, after first denying the assertion, finally admitted to belonging to the club after the court issued a subpoena for the club's membership list. Cheney later stated, "Well, a lot of my friends belonged to the club and you understand of course I had no idea the club had any gay members - not that it would have mattered." However, it was later disclosed that Cheney was an original charter member of the club who call themselves the 'Long, Hard Rifles'.

"Heck, we always had lots of fun on our outings. And, I never shotgunned a single person either!" said the Vice President with a wry, disarming chuckle in an apparent reference to his earlier shooting of longtime friend Harry Whittington during a Texas Quail hunting outing in February, 2006.

When asked where the club hunted and the types of game they sought however, Cheney seemed at a distinct loss for answers. After trying several times to change the subject but always being pinned down by persistent reporters, Cheney reluctantly admitted the 'hunting trips' were usually held in upscale spas throughout the far west. He grudgingly named several locations reputed to pander to the gay life style.

"Well, we never exactly hunted any actual game, although we certainly would. We were more of a social club you know. But we always insisted on having roast Pronghorn Antelope and Buffalo on the menu and a good wine list." he said with a embarrassed grin. "All our members prefer their creature comforts and like to live large."

Cheney hotly denied that President Bush was a member and said he only came along as a guest 'just a few times'. Bush himself was unavailable for comment and his spokesman claimed no knowledge of any such trips by Bush.

The Vice President's wife refused to comment but their daughter was willing to talk to reporters. She laughed, "Yes, that sounds just like Pops all right: 'Just listen to what I say - facts don't matter!' "

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Maybe the Sky Really is Falling!

I don't want to go around like Chicken Little crying "The Sky is Falling! The Sky is Falling!" but the direction the country is being driven today is pretty upsetting. The ones manning the helm can only shout "Stay The Course" and they maintain their grip on power using their tried and true recourse to scare tactics. And why not? That's certainly worked great so far.

"America Under Attack" TV news graphic from "The Power of Nightmares" a 3-part documentary produced by the BBC and broadcast October 20, 2004. This series details how the Bush Administration used fear to frighten Americans and the world.

When Bush first occupied the White House I was pretty disturbed by how he got there, but figured it was an aberration which could and would be corrected in the next election. I remember a friend telling me at the time it was the best thing that could happen since the country would soon know what Neocons were all about and as a result we'd soon be rid of them as a political force forever. Boy, were we ever wrong!

Along came 9/11 which consolidated their power and enabled them to run roughshod over everything. I've kept saying to myself there's no way our country could ever fall victim to what amounted to a 'coup', but now I'm not so sure.

A lot of folks get upset to hear it said, but there are many eerie parallels to the way the Neocons took over the nation's administration and the way the Nazis gained control of Germany in the early 30's. Nazism is essentially only a more militant form of the Corporatism we have in the US today - which more and more eerily resembles Nazism every day.

It's actually pretty darned scary:

Above is an image of the "Cathedral, or Tower of Light", composed of powerful searchlights displayed during Nazi ceremonies in 1936 in Nuremberg, Germany. There were several similar Nazi displays around that time.

This is something called a "Tribute In Light" displayed in Manhatten on 9/11/2006

Maybe it's not too late - maybe there's still time and the forces of reason and democracy are yet persuasive and powerful enough to swing the pendulum back. I am pinning a lot of hopes on next week's elections. If afterwards it turns out that the Neocons have stolen the elections again, it will be time for the rest of us to take to the streets by the millions as we've seen citizens in other countries do - and if there's enough backbone left in our people.

And, this is one called "Tower of Light" at the site of the Twin Towers on 9/11/2006.

If we are not able to take back our country I fear we are on an inexorable road to eventual violent revolution in the US which could last for decades. I sure hope I am wrong for the sake of my children and grandchildren.

For a chilling take on how others view one of the draconian new powers handed over to Bush and his bunch have a look at the video HERE. This will definitely give you some perspective!

And honestly, I must admit I entirely fail to see why we 'celebrate' such an event as 9/11/2001!

"All that is necessary for evil to succeed is that good men do nothing."

-- Edmund Burke