Richard Nixon Was a Very Smart Man

Richard Milhouse Nixon was a very smart man. True, he did a lot of things wrongly, and illegally. But, all the same he was smart enough to realize the best way to deal with a problem was (gasp!) first to recognize it and then to deal with it!

Nixon did not deny problems, nor did he ignore them in the hopes they would somehow, mysteriously, miraculously go away, or never be noticed. Nixon was in no way a denier. No sir, Mr. Nixon saw the problems, grasped them by the horns and dealt with them. He usually did a great job of it too. I am no particular fan of Nixon's, but I have to acknowledge he solved many problems, and the world is a better place for it today.

We saw ANILCA come in on Nixon's watch along with the acts setting up the EPA - the weapon of choice for the environmentalists of today. Nixon is also responsible for rapprochement with China, arms limitations, ending the Vietnam War and a myriad other good things beneficial to our citizens and the world at large. Would be that the current Republican bozos in charge were one tenth as smart as Nixon's group.

Would that they could claim even one tiny bit of success with their policies - but alas, there is none. None, zippo, nada.

And, not a prayer either. Today's birds are simply greedy, rapacious throwbacks to the despoil and pillage Republicans of the latter part of the nineteenth century and early part of the twentieth. Yes, the same ones who bought down the Great Depression upon our country and the world. But, they are very, very good at one thing, and that is to convince their followers they are doing what's 'best for everyone' when nothing could be farther from the truth.

And, those followers are today's sheep-like defenders of the 'Global Warming Myth' and the worst administration in the history of our great nation. They are the ones who characterize anyone who disagrees as 'socialists' and much, much worse - 'eco-terrorists' for example, painting all with the same brush. But the rest of us - the other 70% - are going to set things right again, and damned soon too - or it will be too late.

Eternal words that haunt

Words can live eternally - and eternally haunt you. Just in case you have forgotten, here are few prognostications from the past which have proved a little off the mark

2/13/02 - "I believe demolishing Hussein's military power and liberating Iraq would be a cakewalk."
- Kenneth Adelman, member of the Pentagon's Defense Policy Board.

7/11/02 - "Support for Saddam, including within his military organization, will collapse after the first whiff of gunpowder."
- Richard Perle, Chairman of the Pentagon's Defense Policy Board.

7/11/02 - "Iraq is a very wealthy country. Enormous oil reserves. They can finance, largely finance the reconstruction of their own country. And I have no doubt that they will."
- Richard Perle, Chairman of the Pentagon's Defense Policy Board.

9/02 - "It is unimaginable that the United States would have to contribute hundreds of billions of dollars and highly unlikely that we would have to contribute even tens of billions of dollars."
- Kenneth Pollack, former director for Persian Gulf affairs, National Security Council

9/16/02 - "The likely economic effects [of the war in Iraq] would be relatively small... Under every plausible scenario, the negative effect will be quite small relative to the economic benefits."
- Lawrence Lindsey, White House Economic Advisor

10/4/02" - The costs of any intervention would be very small."
- Glenn Hubbard, White House economic adviser

11/15/02 - "The idea that it's going to be a long, long, long battle of some kind I think is belied by the fact of what happened in 1990. Five days or five weeks or five months, but it certainly isn't going to last any longer than that."
- Donald H. Rumsfeld, U.S. Secretary of Defense.

1/29/03 - "I will bet you the best dinner in the gaslight district of San Diego that military action will not last more than a week. Are you willing to take that wager?"
- Bill O'Reilly, radio columnist

2/7/03 - "It is unknowable how long that conflict will last. It could be six days, six weeks. I doubt six months."
- Donald H. Rumsfeld, U.S. Secretary of Defense.

2/10/03 - "It won't take weeks... Our military machine will crush Iraq in a matter of days and there's no question that it will."
- Bill O'Reilly, radio columnist

2/18/03 - "Iraq has tremendous resources that belong to the Iraqi people. And so there are a variety of means that Iraq has to be able to shoulder much of the burden for their own reconstruction."
- Ari Fleischer, White House press secretary

2/27/03 - "It's hard to conceive that it would take more forces to provide stability in post-Saddam Iraq than it would take to conduct the war itself and to secure the surrender of Saddam's security forces and his army. Hard to image."
- Paul Wolfowitz, U.S. Deputy Secretary of Defense, testifying before the House Budget Committee.

3/27/03 - "When it comes to reconstruction, before we turn to the American taxpayer, we will turn first to the resources of the Iraqi government and the international community."
- Donald H. Rumsfeld, U.S. Secretary of Defense

3/27/03 - "There is a lot of money to pay for this that doesn't have to be U.S. taxpayer money, and it starts with the assets of the Iraqi people. We are talking about a country that can really finance its own reconstruction and relatively soon."
- Paul Wolfowitz, U.S. Deputy Secretary of Defense, testifying before the Defense Subcommittee of the House Appropriations Committee.

4/21/03 - "The United States is committed to helping Iraq recover from the conflict, but Iraq will not require sustained aid."
- Mitchell Daniels, Director, White House Office of Management and Budget.

10/5/04 - "The allies [have contributed] $14 billion in direct aid."
- Dick Cheney, vice presidential debate with Democratic candidate John Edwards

Karl Rove's CRAPS Group

The newly formed CRAPS group sat around a table in the penthouse of a fancy Houston, Texas hotel. Karl Rove attempted to call the group to order - but not without some flack from former Attorney General John Ashcroft first.

"I should be in charge here!" Ashcroft demanded petulantly pushing Rove aside to stand at the podium.

"John, please sit down." said Senator Larry Craig of Idaho calmingly. "You've had that particular bee in your bonnet ever since that dead man beat you in that senate race. Time to let that go."





Ashcroft 'garumphed' noisily, but then went silent and sat back down.




"Praise the Lord." Rove said, his piggy little eyes glittering schemingly. "Now then. I've called this charter meeting of C.R.A.P.S. to order. And, you all know why we're here."







"Well, I'm not too damned sure about why I'm here." snorted former Representative Tom DeLay of Texas. "Hell, they have only indicted me so far. They never proved one damned thing, much less passed sentence or anything.








The words 'indicted' and 'passed sentence' seemed to set off a spasm of uncontrollable foot-tapping from Larry Craig. It got even worse when someone mentioned former Representative Randy 'Duke' Cunningham of California.





"Somebody stick a Valium under Larry's tongue, won't you?" said Rove.




"Bit too late for old Duke, eh?" sniffed former White House counsel Harriet Miers as she slipped Craig a pill.



Former Attorney General Alberto Gonzales sat at Miers' side, but said nothing as he patted his shiny, coiffed pompadour.












"Ol' Jack Abramof did that poor bastard in. He's doing hard time at Tucson right now. Looks like he's still gonna get his Congressional pension though."













"Well, of course I know WHY I'm here." sniffed ex- Representative Mark Foley of Florida rather prissily. "But, I don't know WHY I'm here if you know what I mean. All this stuff is giving me the absolute fan-tabs I tell you! Nobody worked harder in Congress than me. In fact, I stayed up many nights all night long, turning over page after page studying stuff."



"Well Mark, those aren't the kinds of studying and pages that count unless you wanted a scandal." Rove remarked.



"Well, I never!" Foley snapped.



"Oh, but yes it damned sure looks like you damned well did!" retorted Rove quickly.




Scooter Libby was next. "Well, I guess it may be a little too late for me since I've already been indicted, tried and sentenced - but I got paroled and commuted, Thank the Lord. But, I am here to offer my advice & counsel."







There was a loud 'thump' as Larry Craig fainted dead away, foot still tapping away wildly.








"Er, ah, ah, ah, ha, ha, er, up, up, ah - what day is it?" griped the venerable Senator Ted Stevens of Alaska as he awoke with the sudden noise. "Somebody better get those Goddamned internet tubes unplugged!"




"It's OK Uncle Ted." soothed Stevens' colleague and fellow Alaskan Representative Don Young. "Take another pill and go back to sleep. You ain't got no damned problems Ted! Now, I can tell you about damned problems! Yessiree! How's about me already spending over a million Goddamned bucks in 'preemptive' legal fees, just to keep my fat ass out of jail? And, I still might go, huh?"



"Snargle, snarf, ut, ut, uff, uff, ah, ah, SHIT!" answered Stevens as he nodded off again.








"By the by," interrupted Vice President Richard Cheney. "Karl, just what does the group's acronym 'CRAPS' stand for?



"Yes, I thought you'd get a kick out of that Dick." chortled a laughing Rove, his rotund little cheeks jiggling merrily in concert with his wriggling fat ass.


"It's simple really. CRAPS stands for 'Corrupt Republicans Avoiding Prosecution & Sentencing'.







"Goddamned right! I approve!" applauded Cheney.