Saturday, September 22, 2007

The Love of The Amazing Daisy Tucker

Oh, how I did love that girl! She was as lovable a girl as any man could hope to meet. Beautiful certainly, and impossibly sexy with a perfect, Venus body, but beyond that, she was as sweet and natural and wholesome as anyone could possibly be, ever. Just being Daisy Tucker's lover put a man on top of the world - with the sheer, soaring unfettered feeling of being 'the king of absolutely everything'.

Daisy was like that. My every moment in Daisy's company was like that. Somehow, without effort, she brought out those feeling in me. Bliss. Sheer, lover's bliss. There were no bad times, never, no time.

She used to tell me, "making love to you just makes me silly and crazy. You just make me a mess of quivering jelly and turn me into your love slave. I would do anything, anything for you!"

Preening with pride I'd grin and playfully answer, "Daisy, you are already silly and crazy. And, the quivering is just 'cause you're out of breath from all that thrashing and hopping around you do."

Of course, I would all out of breath and hardly able to talk myself, and clothing, bedclothes, pillows, everything would be scattered helter-skelter all over the damned place. Whew! Oh yes, how I did love that girl!

Then one day she was gone. Just like that. No notes, no letters, no phone calls, no nothing. She simply disappeared out of my life like she was never there. Broken hearted doesn't even begin to describe it. I was completely devastated and out of my mind and crazy with worry. What if something happened to her? Was she kidnapped? Run over by a train? Where was the love of my life, this beautiful girl who shared the past two months of sheer bliss with me? Was she in mortal danger, or, (gasp!), even dead?

But no, that wasn't it. All her things were gone too. Lock stock and barrel, she had packed up her things and left. Everything. So, it was by her choice and I had to live with that. I almost didn't. I briefly considered taking my own life. But, with the aid of a couple dozen bottles of rum I got past that crisis and began the healing process.

Then, one day while nursing a drink in the bar, I struck up a conversation with another guy down in the dumps just like me. His sad story was eerily similar to mine. Over more drinks we were amazed to discover that we both, each, had been dumped by the one and the same absolutely amazing Daisy Tucker!

Turned out that the amazing Daisy Tucker had more than one lover. In fact, over the next several weeks we learned the amazing Daisy Tucker had a great many lovers in her life. The more lovers we learned about, the more there seemed to come out of the woodwork. Soon, we, the ex-lovers, began to gather informally in a group on Friday nights - we had nothing better to do - and compare bittersweet notes over drinks about the love of the amazing Daisy Tucker.

We even formed a club we called "The Amazing Daisy Tucker Lovers' Club". We learned we all had many things in common: We were all ex-lovers of Daisy Tucker; We all shared six to eight weeks of sheer lover's bliss with her; And, she left us all totally without warning.

And the only thing Daisy left us with, each and every one of us, was broken hearts, and incurable cases of Non Specific Urethritis.

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