Saturday, January 26, 2008


(By email) An open letter to:

D. Bruce Means, PhD
President and Executive Director

1313 Milton Street, Tallahassee, Fl 32303 USA

Dear Dr. Means:

First, let me say I am impressed with your dedication to your cause, and I am also posting this letter to my online blog:

I am an Alaskan from the SE Alaska panhandle (Juneau). My wife and I are wintering in Carrabelle, Florida this year. I was appalled after driving up route 65 through a part of the Apalachicola National Forest to discover what you can see from the highway is really nothing more than a huge tree farm. I was too sickened by what I saw to drive down any of the feeder roads going into the forest. Imagine then my feelings when I observed the huge Georgia-Pacific chip mill at Hosford, Florida (photo below).

I did a little research online after returning to our condo and was further appalled to learn a full whopping 1% of this forest has been reserved as old growth! One full percent! Imagine that. From a cursory examination of the information quickly available online it appears most of this forest is dedicated for timber production, and that for the benefit of the Georgia-Pacific Corporation, a rank EPA offender of the first magnitude. GP is also ranked as the 15th largest air pollution producer in the United States and is currently being sued for civil rights violations.

I am personally very offended our national forests all over out country, are being virtually given over to the sole interests of the timber interests, all other uses for the publicly owned forests relegated to decidedly less importance. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad, except I can also see all the acres of sub-standard housing used by employees of the big timber interests, who themselves are virtual serfs to the companies.

So much for the USFS mandate to manage the forests for multiple interests! The only multiple of any real importance apparently being the number of dollars timber interests are contributing to politicians to curry their legislative, and other favors.

I am a veteran of years of advocacy for protections of the 17 million acre Tongass National Forest in Alaska, also under severe and continuous attack for many years by pulp companies, and logging operators who ship most of their 'product' in the round overseas to Japan and Korea for any value-added processing. A real travesty, especially when one considers our national policy of destroying public assets also costs the American taxpayer over 40 million dollars per year on the Tongass alone.

Our political leaders are obviously in the pockets of the special interests, especially those of the current administration. But, I am convinced if the American public were truly made aware of the economics connected with donating our publicly owned assets to special interests, most of us would rise up in righteous indignation and chase the perpetrators out of office. Especially so after our public learns the true extent we ourselves are paying to have our forests destroyed at our own expense.

Even a so-called 'conservative' right-wing 'business oriented' ideologue can see the idiocy of such a policy!


  1. Anonymous9:25 PM

    One evening an "old Cherokee" told his grandson about a
    battle that goes on inside people. He said, 'My son, the
    battle is between two 'wolves' inside us all.

    One is Evil; It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret,
    greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment,
    inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.

    The other is Good; It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity,
    humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth,
    compassion and faith.

    The young grandson thought about this for a minute or two
    and then asked his grandfather..... 'Which wolf wins?'

    The old Cherokee replied simply..... 'The one you feed!

  2. Anonymous5:58 AM

    Vienna, Austria-

    The Austrian Dungeon Master, Josef Fritzl, has challenged theSpoof's biggest douchebag to an arm wrestling match to be held in his newly renovated dungeon in central Vienna,

    "I had it redecorated in subtle shades of olive with a tinge of French gray. Plus, I added some comfy madrass pillows and a touch of pale pink frilly curtains in anticipation of Gnarly Eric's arrival"

    Fritzl, who just completed a online course in interior decorating, says he's fit enough to take on the world-class grumpy Alaskan asshole in any arm wrestling contest. "After tea, I might even let him win!" Says Fritzl.

    The challenge resulted from a taunt in a populat S&M chat room, where Gnarly Eric called Fritzl a bad name. To promote fair play the room moderator, Herman Goering jr, asked the two grown adults to settle it 'man to man'.

    At first, Gnarly wanted to just have sex, but in accordance with the rules, an arm wrestling competition was chosen.

    Fritzl says he'll wear a new, black skin tight leather outfit, and will have some vintage leather butcher aprons for the visiting Alaskan. "I believe he's a large fellow, so I'll allow some extra room. I also know he's a fake impostor Marine too, and never served anything except hamburgers at McDonalds."

    Gnarly Eric has asked fellow Spoof writer Queen Mother to be his 'second' mainly he's been having sex with him late at night.

  3. Ah . . but the famous, the intelligent and superior always seem to have the less fortunate, the less smart and inferior types snipping at them all the time out of personal jealously.

    It is all part of the costs we superior types must bear - and we do so without complaint, but with sorrow for the depths of distress we create in others.


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