Thursday, January 25, 2007

White House "I Don't Remember" Stratagem

Not satisfied with turning individual civil rights into travesties, the Bush White House in the person of I Lewis 'Scooter' Libby is now mounting a vigorous "I Don't Remember" defense in Libby's court trial. If successful - and it looks as if it well might be given the present make-up of the US Supreme Court - this defense will provide a powerful, perhaps impregnable defense and cover for all White House officials.

This type of defense WILL NOT however, be available for common citizens outside the Bush administration, who still must take their chances under normal, commonly recognized standard laws on the books for hundreds of years.

In many ways the "I don't Remember" defense takes its cues from and is closely related to some of former US Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld's more famous quotes:

"I don't know what I said, but I know what I think, and, well, I assume it's what I said."

"I believe what I said yesterday."

"Needless to say, the President is correct. Whatever it was he said."

" . . .there are known knowns; there are things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns -- the ones we don't know we don't know."

"I would not say that the future is necessarily less predictable than the past. I think the past was not predictable when it started."

"We do know of certain knowledge that he is either in Afghanistan, or in some other country, or dead." (referring to arch-terrorist Osama Bin Ladin)

"We know where they are. They're in the area around Tikrit and Baghdad and east, west, south and north somewhat."
(On weapons of mass destruction, which in fact were NEVER TO BE FOUND)

This innovative approach to absolving all Bush White House from any and all personal responsibility and accountability holds unlimited possibilities. One can imagine for example, this excuse cascading into something like, "I don't remember if I remembered or not, or if I did remember, I don't remember it."

White House insiders refer to this tactic as the 'DICK' stratagem as in 'Deniable, Indeterminate Confused Knack', named so in honor of VP Richard 'Dick' Cheney's mastery of this arcane art form.

It's best not to try this tactic at home.

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