In a quiet, but sensational and possibly explosive announcement, US President George W. Bush revealed he intends to undergo a sex change operation in his first year out of office. He admitted he has been receiving hormone therapy for the past 12 months. He also hinted that his 'good buddy' Vladimir Putin of Russia might also join him in Stockholm, Sweden for a similar operation.
"All's I know is I've always felt more comfortable when I let my feminine side show." said Bush. "Being 'macho' has always been tough for me and I finally had to admit it to myself. And, I think Pootie feels exactly the same way I do."
"One problem though is this is really pissing off Karl Rove and making him very jealous. I had to tell him to 'just get over it'."
There are unconfirmed rumors that radio talk show host Rush Limbaugh was also so disturbed and livid with jealousy he has been forced to take a leave of absence for an unspecified period of time.
Dr. Richard Ingram of the Gender Identity Clinic at the Belfast City Hospital in Belfast, Northland Ireland is Bush's consulting psychiatrist for the operation.
Ingram commented, "Ever since I first took note of President Bush in 2000 I've realized he was terribly conflicted about his sexual identity. The unmistakeable signs are all there. There's the incessant need to always 'prove' his machismo such as by invading other nations and saying stupid macho things like 'Bring it on!'; There's Bush's penchant for going around in 'girlie' dress; There's his unabashed holding hands in public with other men, such as with the Saudi Prince, who Bush also blessed with a decidedly non-brotherly kiss on the lips."
"But, probably and most tellingly, there's the suggestive and cocky demonstration of 'manliness' Bush always seeks to portray, such as his strutting about on the flight deck of an aircraft carrier wearing a huge codpiece. I've examined Mr. Bush physically, and let me tell you, that was all for show, as there's no substance to it. Or as I'm told they say in Texas, it was 'All hat and no cattle'.
"Yes sir." said Dr. Ingram. "If there ever was a perfect candidate for a sex change operation it is President George W. Bush. In fact, I would go so far as to say the world would be infinitely better off had Mr. Bush received this operation twenty years ago."
Ingram said the operation itself presented little danger, although there is always the potential for failure. He pointed to the botched job done on columnist Ann Coulter who prior to her operation was a septic tank pump operator going by the name of Arnie. "That one is an unfortunate classic." he said. "but, I didn't have anything to do with it."
Dr. Ingram released a copy of his referral letter, which is reproduced below. (Click to view full size)
President Bush says there's only one thing he absolutely insists on, and that is 'that I don't wind up looking like my Mom'.