Sarah Palin's Extreme Makeover

Doggone! Turns out putting lipstick on a pit bull can be a very expensive proposition! Seems that turning a hockey mom into a pit bull attack dog is way more expensive than most of us might have imagined.

First were all those fancy clothes - about $150,000 worth more or less. I never realized you could spend that much on clothing for one person, but it seems I am naive and pretty much out of the loop on what constitutes 'suitable clothing' and what that costs. Besides, we are told that not all of the money was spent on Sarah, but some went for husband 'Iron Dog Todd' and their children - maybe $20,000 or so.

My wife and I estimate that we spend on the average, less than $500 a year on clothing for the both of us - but then again, I guess we're probably just miserly and overly conservative. I'm very humbled. I'm gonna check to see if I can start spending more so I can get more mainstream on these sorts of things.

But that's not all. Sarah's makeover cost another $68,400 for makeup (damn, that lipstick sure must be expensive!), and then roughly $42,225 for hair styling. My goodness, all I can think is there sure must of been some god-awful tangles in those 'do's' of hers! Whoo boy!

But, that's still not all! The Republican National Committee is saying another 'less that $30,000' worth of clothing expenses for Sarah would show up in their latest campaign report. Maybe that was for undergarments, or panty hose or something.

Good gosh a-mighty! She was either one more horrendous wreck of a hockey mom to start off with, or they must have surely turned her into one more fancy gold-plated Pit Bull - or maybe a lot of both!

On the other hand the RNC tells us what makes her so attractive to the Republican base is that she's just your normal small-town regular gal, down to earth and just like everybody else. Yeah, buddy.

Sarah's running mate, John McCain was belligerently defensive when reporters questioned him about her clothing expense. "What would you have the woman do?" he flared. "Walk out on stage in the all together?"

Then his eyes suddenly misted over and he seemed lost in some sort of reverie until Cindy McCain snapped her fingers sharply in front of his face several times.