Thursday, September 03, 2009

South Carolina's God-Fearing Red State Family Values Folks!

C'mon now! this is getting pretty serious.

Aren't ANY of the good, God-fearing, Red State Republicans normal folks? Hey, I know everyone's been joking about it and all, but now I'm beginning to get pretty concerned:

First there's this new story about South Carolina Lt. Governor Andre Bauer. You know. The same one who will take over when disgraced SC Governor Mark Sanford is impeached, or has the decency and common sense to ever resign. Don't hold your breath on that though. Narcissism knows no limits, especially if God is on your side as he is with Mark Sanford according to himself. Oh but what the Hell. I suppose anyone named 'Andre' in SC has no choice except to be gay . . .?

Not that I think there's anything wrong with being gay - except perhaps if you constantly present yourself otherwise as an ardent, God-fearing, family values man who believes so strongly in the sanctity of marriage and sex - between a man and a woman only! (Where the hell does the Republican Party find these people anyway?)

But then, what about that God-fearing, family values gal, Kristin Maquire, who until a couple days ago was Chairwoman of the South Carolina State Board of Education and who, turns out has an alter ego; (Bridget Keeney - FAIR WARNING! THIS IS SOME HOT & NASTY STUFF!) writing some pretty smoky porn, such as one entitled, "Lauren's Masturbatory Musings." A girl after mine own heart that! All that other cynical, Christian hoopla and right-wingnut BS just turns me off, that's all. But, maybe it's a good thing for South Carolina Maquire had the good sense to resign 'due to family matters' though. Doesn't sound like such a good thing to have a head of the state board of education who doesn't believe in schools. Maquire has home schooled her own four children since day one.

But at least Maquire has the decency to do the right thing, unlike the governor who appointed her in the first place, one Mark Sanford, who apparently can't tell the difference between the Appalachian Trail and Argentinian Tail. It is apparent Governor Sanford couldn't recognize a right thing if it rose up and bit him square on his cheating-on-his-wife smarmy red ass.

Then there's the story about the other South Carolina guy who got video-taped and arrested for getting it on with a horse. Well, OK I guess that's kind of odd, but what's even odder was that he was already on probation for getting it on with a horse the year before - THE SAME DAMNED HORSE! Man, those South Carolina horses must be something! And, there's very little doubt in my mind about his political affiliations. After all, SC is one of the reddest of the red states. Can anyone spell "R-E-P-U-B-L-I-C-A-N"?

You just can't make this kind of fun and entertaining stuff up! What the hell are they smoking over there in SC anyway?

Pardon me.

I've got to go find a place to laugh my ass off somewhere.

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