2008 Highlights & Gutbusters

The year 2008 in review:

The highlights of 2008 for me, and proof positive that the Easter Bunny gods sure do have a sense of humor:

1: The video of President Bush nimbly ducking two shoes thrown his way during a press conference;

2: Seeing the merry, fun-loving face of Alaska Senator Ted Stevens on the front page of the newspapers the day he was indicted;

3: Watching Sarah Palin's infamous 'turkey pardon' video;

4: Tina Fey playing Sarah Palin - simply by repeating Palin's words verbatim;

5: Ann Coulter's jaw being wired shut;

6: OJ's court conviction and sentence;

7: Elliot Spitzer's $1000/hour date who trashed his entire life and career;

8: John McCain's statement "the fundamentals of our economy are strong" one whole week before the biggest economic meltdown in over 70 years;

9: "Joe the plumber", who campaigned for McCain, and turned out to be a non-plumber, back-taxes-owing deadbeat;

10: And who can forget Sarah Palin's daughter Bristol - raised on the strict 'abstinence' principle - showing up 7 months pregnant right after Palin's selection as McCain's VP pick?

Yepper, there were lot's of other things too, and it sure turned out to be a gut-busting year all right!

Holiday Songs For People in the News

GW Bush:

• The Nightmare Before Christmas;
  
• We Three Kings Disoriented Are

Dick Cheney:

• You Better Watch Out;
  
• Do You Hear What I hear?;

Larry Craig:

• Nuts to You;
  
• Nut Cracker;
  
• (Chest)nuts Roasting on an Open Fire;
  
• Silver Balls

Mark Foley:

• What Child is This;
  
• Oh Come Let Us Adore Him

Barack Obama:

• Joy To The World;
  
• Go Tell It On The Mountain

Jesse Jackson:

• Should Auld Acquaintance Be Forgot?

Michael Jackson:

• The Little Drummer Boy;
  
• What Child Is This?

John McCain:

• I'll be home for Christmas;
  
• Silent Night

Bernard Madoff:

• Sleigh Ride;
• Fleeced Navidad

Sarah Palin:

• I'll Have a Blue, Blue Christmas;
  
• Never Do a Tango With An Eskimo;
  
• Baby, It's Cold Outside

Condoleeza Rice:

• I'm Dreaming Of A White Christmas

Lest we forget

As the day approaches when, thankfully, US president George W. Bush leaves office finally and for good, it is good to look back at some of the firsts and milestones for this person:

George W. Bush is the first person to:

• Be the Texas governor who officially proclaimed an official 'Jesus Day';

• Be the first US president ever elected to office by the US Supreme Court;

• Be the US president who ignored all warnings to preside over an attack on US soil which took more lives than any on record;

• Be the US president who squandered unprecedented international goodwill towards our country after 9/11, and turned it into active international hatred against our nation in a mere twelve months;

• Achieve the lowest approval rating for any US president in history (as low as 17%);

• Achieve the highest DISAPPROVAL rating for any US president ever recorded (78%);

• Be the ONLY US president to have an official 'Absent Without Leave (AWOL) on his record;

• Be the US president to enter office with the HIGHEST budget surplus on record;

• Be the US president to leave office with the highest budget DEFICT on record;

• Be the first US president to leave office with stock market averaging 10% below the level when he took office;

• Be the only US president to preside over a SECOND US and international DEPRESSION;

• Be the first US president to officially sanction torture;

• Be the first US president to officially sanction wiretapping of US citizens - without warrants;

• Be the first US president to engage our country in a 'preemptive' war against another country;

• Be the only US president to withdraw official support for the international Anti-Ballistic Missile Treaty;

• Be the only US president to withdraw official support for the Kyoto Protocol - an international treaty to reduce global warming emissions;

• Be the first US president to pass a law authorizing imprisonment of US citizens without trial - the Patriot Act;

• Be the only US president to officially sanction the denial of habeas corpus for US citizens;

• Be the only US president ever to instruct political operatives to override scientific data with political doggerel;

• Be the only US president to implement a tax cut for the richest 5% of the people in the face of massive national budget deficits;

• Be the only person in history more disliked by Arabs than Israelis - 3 times more hated than Ariel Sharon in fact;

• Be the only US president to preside over a national disaster - Hurricane Katrina in New Orleans - where federal response was so pathetic that international aid was offered by dozens of other countries;

• Be the only US president to be awarded the International Medal of Peace (by the Global Peace Coalition) in the midst of two wars, one of which was an unprovoked invasion of another country by that president;

• Be the only US president in history to have shoes hurled at his head during a press conference.

And, lest we forget - let's keep in mind these other memorable events and happenings during the year 2008 from HUFFINGTON POST . . . .

President Bush to Undergo Sex Change

In a quiet, but sensational and possibly explosive announcement, US President George W. Bush revealed he intends to undergo a sex change operation in his first year out of office. He admitted he has been receiving hormone therapy for the past 12 months. He also hinted that his 'good buddy' Vladimir Putin of Russia might also join him in Stockholm, Sweden for a similar operation.


"All's I know is I've always felt more comfortable when I let my feminine side show." said Bush. "Being 'macho' has always been tough for me and I finally had to admit it to myself. And, I think Pootie feels exactly the same way I do."

"One problem though is this is really pissing off Karl Rove and making him very jealous. I had to tell him to 'just get over it'."

There are unconfirmed rumors that radio talk show host Rush Limbaugh was also so disturbed and livid with jealousy he has been forced to take a leave of absence for an unspecified period of time.

Dr. Richard Ingram of the Gender Identity Clinic at the Belfast City Hospital in Belfast, Northland Ireland is Bush's consulting psychiatrist for the operation.

Ingram commented, "Ever since I first took note of President Bush in 2000 I've realized he was terribly conflicted about his sexual identity. The unmistakeable signs are all there. There's the incessant need to always 'prove' his machismo such as by invading other nations and saying stupid macho things like 'Bring it on!'; There's Bush's penchant for going around in 'girlie' dress; There's his unabashed holding hands in public with other men, such as with the Saudi Prince, who Bush also blessed with a decidedly non-brotherly kiss on the lips."

"But, probably and most tellingly, there's the suggestive and cocky demonstration of 'manliness' Bush always seeks to portray, such as his strutting about on the flight deck of an aircraft carrier wearing a huge codpiece. I've examined Mr. Bush physically, and let me tell you, that was all for show, as there's no substance to it. Or as I'm told they say in Texas, it was 'All hat and no cattle'.

"Yes sir." said Dr. Ingram. "If there ever was a perfect candidate for a sex change operation it is President George W. Bush. In fact, I would go so far as to say the world would be infinitely better off had Mr. Bush received this operation twenty years ago."

Ingram said the operation itself presented little danger, although there is always the potential for failure. He pointed to the botched job done on columnist Ann Coulter who prior to her operation was a septic tank pump operator going by the name of Arnie. "That one is an unfortunate classic." he said. "but, I didn't have anything to do with it."

Dr. Ingram released a copy of his referral letter, which is reproduced below. (Click to view full size)

President Bush says there's only one thing he absolutely insists on, and that is 'that I don't wind up looking like my Mom'.

A Presidential Lament

Oh, what to do when a shoe is threw?


Oh, what to do? What to Do?

Straight through the air it flew,

Square at my head with an aim so true,

Oh, what to do? What to do?


Duck and weave, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh?

Oh My God, I don't have a clue!

Oh, what to do when a shoe is threw?

Oh, what to do? What to do?


And, he threw not one shoe, but two!

Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh!

Hell, I'm even the President too!

Oh, what to do? What to do?


It all caused a humongous big to-do,

And made a hero for all Arabs to look to,

And created one big international stew.

Oh, what to do? What to do?


I could claim it's all a lie and untrue,

But, it's payed on TV for most anyone to view,

Hell, I might have to take up tae kwon do!

Oh, what to do? What to do?


I looked so darned stupid in playback reviews,

In all-dogoned-day-long deja vus!

And, no President ever faced this hitherto,

Oh, what to do? What to do?

Our President Gets a New Pair of Shoes

President George W. Bush got a new pair of shoes yesterday. They were flung at him during a news conference in Baghdad. An Iraqi TV reporter removed his shoes and threw them at Bush, one after the other. Bush ducked and they both missed. The reporter, Muntazer al-Zaidi of independent iraqi al-Baghdadiya television was arrested and taken into custody.


The current iraqi government, installed by the US has called the incident a "a barbaric and ignominious act". But, Al-Zaidi became an instant hero and celebrity in iraq and everywhere in the Arab world where 'disrespecting' someone with a shoe is a supreme insult. Many people there consider the illegal invasion of their country by US and 'coalition' forces to be barbaric and ignominious. Accurate figures are not available, but hundreds of thousands are believed to have been killed in the war.

Bush nimbly ducked the shoes as they came flying at him, and later airily dismissed the incident as just something to get attention. It got attention all right and is now the talk of the entire Arab world. In fact, it was so remarkable that anytime Bush now makes an appearance and does NOT have shoes thrown at him is considered a huge success." CBS headlines of Bush's later visit to Afghanistan read: "Shoes Stay On For Bush In Afghanistan"

Leaving town on the next thing smoking.

The Bush administration is packing up and looking for the next flight out of town.

Most can't wait.

Apparently, most of them are finally conceding to themselves what the rest of the country - and the world - have known for some time now. They are in a rush to put anything associated with the two Bush administrations and the last eight years behind them.

That's with the possible exception of president George W. Bush himself and his wife Laura of course. Bush's White House office has issued a two page letter of instructions to cabinet members telling them to emphasize the 'successes' of his presidency.

Successes? SUCCESSES?

The Bush White House - at taxpayer expense of course - established a formal 'Bush Legacy Team' to work on the official 'Bush Legacy Plan'. The White House sent a 2-page memo with 'talking points' to cabinet members and other high ranking administration officials entitled, "Speech Topper on the Bush Record".

The reason?

To burnish the official record of a president with the lowest approval rating on record - 24% and still falling. "What we have in mind with these documents is we feel the president's many accomplishments haven't been given the attention they deserve and in some cases have been purposely ignored," explained Carlton Carroll, a White House spokesman.

Accomplishments? ACCOMPLISHMENTS? Apparently self delusion knows no boundaries!

The memo totally fails any mention of the colossal and record setting FAILURES of the Bush administrations:

An illegal war costing upwards of a trillion dollars and many thousands of lives;

The illegal denial of habeas corpus and detention for hundreds of people without charges for upwards of seven years;

The Abu Garaib (and other) torture scandals;

The illegal wiretapping without warrants of American citizens;

The wholesale attacks on the US Constitution;

Unprecedented attacks on environmental laws and regulations on the books for decades, in favor of giant corporations;

Tax breaks for the very richest people in the country while ignoring the needs of the less fortunate - including returning veterans of overseas wars;

The most devastating damage and destruction of the economy of the United States and the entire world since the Great Depression;

The list goes on and on - but you get the drift.

The president's wife Laura Bush has also been enlisted in the effort, and appeared on a ABC's 'Nightline' and loyally championed her husband saying, "I think the history book says he's a very, very strong president."

Maybe so. But, methinks not.

Perhaps there's no more iconic and illustrative example of the ineptness of Bush et al than the loss of the Bush Library's web site domain name 'WBushLibrary.com.' The name had been purchased from a private citizen who had foreseen its value and reserved the name. The Bush Library Foundation paid $3,000 for it just last year. However, through oversight, it was allowed to expire, was grabbed up by an alert 'cyber squatter' and the foundation was then forced to repurchase the domain name - this time for $35,000!

No one can deny some serious burnishment was not sorely needed needed for a president who was not even allowed to attend his own party's national convention in September! Neither was his Vice President, who, along with Bush was avoided like the plague by other high party members.

Sad really.