* * * * NEWS FLASH * * * *Recent photographic evidence is raising some disturbingly troubling questions about the current American President. New research now shows that all is not as it should be.
For example, were the photos showing something referred to as “Bush’s Codpiece”. Questions about those photos were answered by the White House as follows:
“Hey, that’s just the way he is”
Well, ha - yeah, right. Obviously, that just didn’t fly. Then, the White House came up with a much more believable, albeit unflattering statement obviously meant to disarm the public:
“Well, I guess he just got his panties all bunched up.”
But then someone pointed out the small wires coming from the President’s flight suit going to a sort of remote device held by a strange little green-suited figure always near Bush. The White House vehemently denied both the wires and the green suited figure, claiming the photographic evidence was ‘just lint on the lens’ - no doubt from the President’s panties. No valid explanation was given for the figure in the green suit.
Observers have noticed the President often seems to have a strange, square blocky shape in the middle of his back, between his shoulders. The White House tried to explain that by claiming his suit jacket ‘bunched up’ - a sort of not-so-subtle tie-in with their language concerning his panties we suppose.
And, close examination of photos also shows a sort of earpiece thingy in his left ear. The White House also flatly denies this evidence, claiming is probably just a ‘bug on the lens’. While we acknowledge the White House's fascination with 'bugs' and agree this is obviously some sort of bug, it is definitely in his ear and not on some lens.
More disturbing evidence came when it was noticed that sometimes - often - the President lapses into a sort of catatonic, mindless state for from a few seconds to several minutes at a time - as in the famous incident when he was reading to school children and was notified of the attacks on the World Trade Center. The White House explains this by saying the President was ‘thinking’ - which is manifestly, obviously and in grievous error on the very face of it. And, of course the entire world knows of the President’s reputation for garbled syntax and the misuse of language to the the point of confusing, babbling nonsense.
It has also been noticed there were strikingly different aspects to Bush’s so-called ‘personality’. For example, he is almost laughably and comically ‘macho’ at times, blustering, bragging and stomping around like a mindless ape - which he actually quite closely resembles. He's strongly prone to go around spouting stupidly aggressive sound bites like “I’m the War President!”, “Mission Accomplished!” and “Bring ‘em on!”
At other times the President is noticeably almost prissily feminine - lapsing into what many reporters now call his “Foo-Foo” state. More cruel persons also refer to it as his “Fairy”, “Homo”, “Sissy” or “Queer Dear” aspect.
During his “Foo-Foo” phases, the President can be ridiculously girlish - more resembling his close friends and advisors Kenneth Starr, John Ashcroft, Karl Rove or perhaps even more closely his secret friend and bunky buddy, Michael Jackson. That might even be an attractive trait if it did not clash so strongly with the strident manly image he seeks to portray - not to mention his stupid & silly acts of aggression.
White House personnel are always alert and quick to hide this feminine aspect from the public, but not always successfully as it turns out.
Importantly, the new research and studies emphatically indicate what has long been suspected; That President George W. Bush is actually an android, created by the Republican National Committee with the help of the CIA and other Federal acronymic agencies. The bionics are visible portions of the controlling devices implanted in the 'droid.
Apparently, this particular android model is an early, unproved version, rushed into use before all the glitches were worked out. The catatonic lapses are sometimes encountered when switching controllers and the relief has wandered off to the loo or something. Sadly, this sloppiness has resulted in the disturbing images now all over the media. This defective android is being controlled by various persons (green suited figures, Karl Rove, Dick Cheney, etc.), depending upon the time of day. Obviously, some are less than 'macho' & many closet homosexual controllers have somehow sneaked into the mix, much to the chagrin of the Neo-Con leaders of the RNC who strenuously (and hopelessly) guard against this sort of thing. It is actually quite distressing to the more doctrinally inclined of the group.
The consensus is that the closet homosexual component results from the behind the scenes efforts of people like Kenneth Starr, John Ashcroft, Karl Rove, Robert Novak, Trent Lott, Dick Armey, Dick Cheney, Jerry Falwell, etc. The RNC is now mounting a ruthless, but so far unsuccessful effort to “root out the sissy controllers” before the party is irrevocably damaged.
And now, definitive proof of the android character of our current, brave “War President” has just been uncovered. This photo of a "replenishment device', designed to input energy and formatted information into the 'droid has just now come to light. We are told this is inserted in the anus of the android several times a day, to insure that the 'President is always full of it’ in the words of one of his handlers. It is apparently very effective.
More to come.