Sarah Palin's Fly On The Wall

Last Wednesday Sarah Palin's fly-on-the-wall caught a chewy conversation between Alaska's Governor and Lieutenant Governor. It went something like this:

Governor Sarah Palin: "Hey Sean, step into my office would you? I've got some news for you."

Lt. Governor Sean Parnell: "Okee-dokey Guv, and what kind of news would that be?"

Sarah Palin: "Well, I guess it would come under the heading of good news, bad news."

Sean Parnell: "Hey! I love that stuff! Give me the bad news first and save the good news for last!"

Sarah Palin: "OK, Sean, here goes: I'm resigning my position as governor of Alaska."

Sean Parnell: "Hot damn! That ain't bad news. That's great news! If you don't mind my saying so, the bloom has gone seriously off your roses Guv. Folks are getting pretty damned tired of you always putting your own selfish interests ahead of the people of Alaska. With you gone maybe us Republicans will have a better chance in this state."

Sarah Palin: "Sean, that's a darned poor way to show your appreciation to me. You know when I selected you to be Lt. Governor, it was mostly because I figured it was cute our initials were exactly the same. I never thought you'd ever be governor yourself. You are too much of a dumb ass, dumber than rock in fact, and you have terrible BO and your breathe smells. Probably your feet do too."

Sean Parnell: "Well, mebbe so, but between you and the other dimwit Neocons you've pretty much train-wrecked the Republican Party nationwide. Hell, I was thinking of becoming a Libertarian myself. So, what's the other good news?"

Sarah Palin: "Well, it's good news for you. Now you will become Alaska's governor when I step down on July 26th."

Sean Parnell: "Yeah well. I'd say it's pretty much a win-win for me, So what has caused this seismic change?"

Sarah Palin: "I have my reasons. Let's just say the opera isn't over and the fat lady hasn't sung yet."

Sean Parnell: "Is it about all those 60 some odd ethics complaints against you?"

Sarah Palin: "Ethics, Smethics. Naw, it isn't that although I have to say those totally piss me off. Where do people get off filing complaints against me, Sarah Palin, Barbie-Doll Governor of Alaska and former Vice Presidential nominee?"

Sean Parnell: "Well, you know what folks say; 'Where there's smoke, there's usually fire.' I remember that's how you got in office in the first place. Mebbe somebody's after your butt the same way. You think they'll make anything stick?"

Sarah Palin: "I dunno. Depends on whether they actually apply the laws or not I guess."

Sean Parnell: "Yeah I know. It's just too damned bad us politicians can't do as we like anymore without those pissy laws and ethics complaints nailing us."

Sarah Palin: "Tell me about it!"

Sean Parnell: "So, Guv. I can't believe that's the real reason you're resigning. What do you mean the fat lady hasn't sung yet?"

Sarah Palin: "I'm gonna make my public announcement on Friday afternoon, just before the Fourth of July holiday. Maybe the news will get smothered by all the holiday excitement. I'll just hint at things like I'm positioning myself for run at the US presidency, or raising money or something like that. But, if my enemies keep digging, there very well could be more to come."

Sean Parnell: "More to come? Like what?"

Sarah Palin: "Can't tell you that Sean. You'd probably just use it against me yourself."

Sean Parnell: Well, give me a hint at least. Don't let me get blind-sided like everyone else."

Sarah Palin: "I'm not gonna give you specifics you asshole. Let's just say there could be some stuff in the woodpile and if it comes out my goose would be well-done. I don't want to be like that idiot Mark Sanford crying on national TV and trying to cling onto my job no matter how bad he screwed up. Pardon my pun, but seems like the only sex he's getting these days is by screwing up."

Sean Parnell: "Damn Guv! You and Mark Sanford? Tell me it isn't so!"

Sarah Palin: "Hell no you idiot! I wouldn't look twice at that bozo. I don't need any more trailer trash than I already have. Todd Palin is way more than I care to deal with anyway! Who the hell does he think he is anyway? First Dude my aching ass!"

Sean Parnell: "It's not Joe the Plumber is it?"

Sarah Palin: "Dammit Sean! It's nothing like that. Get your head out of your ass!"

Sean Parnell: "Well I know the media has been coming after you for all your faux pas and verbal stumbles. I see now they're after you for plagiarizing a joke about John Kerry's 'long face'. Don't you have anybody helping you by checking things for you?"

Sarah Palin: "We call it 'research'. My research staff is always on the lookout for mean jokes about other people. We thought that was a great joke and figured everybody would have forgotten it by now. Who'd a-thunk they'd remember stuff like that so long?"

Sean Parnell: "Yeah, well. And then there was that exorcism thingy by the witch doctor in your church. That didn't help you much either."

Sarah Palin: "Hell no! And it didn't even work either. I've been feeling kinda weird ever since and I still have demons coming out my ears! It's enough to make you swear off religion."

Sean Parnell: "Well personally Guv, I think you'd be way ahead if you did."

Sarah Palin: "Well, mebbe I will. It doesn't seem to be working so well for me right now anyway."

Sean Parnell: "Like what?"

Sarah Palin: "Well, Sean, I wasn't going to tell you this, and you've got to swear you won't say anything. You're the only one I'm telling and if it gets out I'm coming after you, OK? I'm pretty sure Bristol is knocked up again."

Sean Parnell: "Hot damn! How did that happen? I thought Levi was out of her life now."

Sarah Palin: "He is you idiot! But, he's not the only guy around with the hots for my daughter. But, you know that ball game I went to and Letterman made the joke about?"

Sean Parnell: "Yeah?"

Sarah Palin: "Well, everyone thought my daughter Willow was the only one of my girls there. And, the reason nobody saw Bristol was she really was shacked up with Alex Rodriguez at the time, but how was I supposed to know? Anyway, the reason I jumped all over Letterman like I did was to throw up a smoke screen. I tell, you all anyone has to do is wave a penis at that girl one time and she feels obligated to get pregnant. Abstinence my aching ass!"

Sean Parnell: "Damn."

Sarah Palin: "Yeah, if all that gets out I'll be as roasted and basted as a Thanksgiving turkey. That damned Letterman will have a field day. I can just see his gleeful damned smirk now!"

Sean Parnell: "Oh right! There was that little turkey faux pas too!"

Sarah Palin: "Dammit Sean! How was I to know they'd be killing turkeys at that turkey farm."

Sean Parnell: "Well Guv, it WAS a turkey farm and processing place after all . . . "

Sarah Palin: "I didn't realize they'd actually be processing in the background while I was there doing my video. I tell you I've got enemies all over the place just laying for me."

Sean Parnell: "Yeah well. I guess you coulda looked around a little before you started being 'Miss Precious' and all. I mean, that's in Politics 101."

Sarah Palin: "I never took Politics 101. I always go by the seat of my pants."

Sean Parnell: "Yeah well, that couldn't be any more damned obvious."

Sarah Palin: "Just what the hell is that supposed to mean, Sean?"

Sean Parnell: "Well, just look at you now. You're resigning your office and running for cover. You'll end up a political footnote. A laughing stock. A freaking joke. They'll trot you out as an example of what not to do in the future."

Sarah Palin: "Damn Sean! That's harsh. I've a good mind to just fire your stupid ass and appoint another Lt. Governor before I resign."

Sean Parnell: "You can't get away with that!"

Sarah Palin: "You bet your bippy I can! In fact, you're fired!"

Sean Parnell: "You're serious?"

Sarah Palin: "You betcha!"

The US Army Pig Wars

US Army Makes War on Pigs - Enlists 'Pig Czar'

Columbus, Georgia (Ft. Benning): You might expect to find a few pigs in a US Army post named for a Confederate general. They are found many other places too, like Big Business, Congress and broadcast journalism. Now, the army at Ft. Benning has officially acknowledged the growing problem and is doing something about it. Major 'Bobby' Toon, who instructs in a 'Maneuver Captains Career Course', is also considered the unofficial 'Pig Czar' at the post.


The huge post is a training ground for many infantry and other military specialties and home to the controversial 'School of the Americas'. SOA trains officers from central and south American countries who often go home to take over their own governments through mayhem and murder. Detractors sometimes call it the 'School of the Assassins'.

Due to so much controversy, SOA today hides behind the more innocuous name of 'Western Hemisphere Institute for Security Cooperation'.

Manuel Noriega of Panama is one esteemed graduate of SOA, and a fine example of a pig if there ever was one. Noriega, formerly also a major CIA asset, is currently serving a federal sentence in Miami, Florida for displeasing his CIA handlers in the US over proceeds in the drug trade and other unforgivable insults.

But no, Noriega is not the kind of pig Ft. Benning is worried about. The army says the base is overrun by feral pigs - domestic livestock gone wild as it were. The army offered a $40 bounty for every pig tail brought in. Major Toon himself killed 68 of the feral pigs in 2007, earning himself a tidy $2,720 if he were paid for each one.

"You might say I named my own Toon and sang it myself." says the Major with a wry grin. "And, I always got a piece of tail to go along with it! You can really get off on nailing pigs you know. Every time I get one of the big, fat bastards in my sights I imagine it's Karl Rove's or Rush Limbaugh's floppy pig jowls or big, fat asses I'm seeing . . ."

The army's pig program, while having some success on the base, hasn't affected pigdom in the civilian world at all. "Hell, there were even more of those fat bastards around than ever under the Bush administration." claimed Toon in early 2008.

"No, wait, wait. Forget that. I didn't say any of those things!" said Toon.

Editor's Note: No Animals, Politicians, Radio Commentators, CEO's, Corrupt Bastards or other pigs were hurt in the preparation of this story.

A Woods Walker Mission

(Click on photos to expand)
We knew they were coming of course. 'We' being my brother-in-law, his own brother-in-law, his future son-in-law and me.

But, it was a big shock anyway. A cascading flood of energetic and determined estrogen overwhelmed my own heretofore almost unconquerable testosterone. I could see the other males present were equally cowed. After a few moments of blistering exposure, we humbled males quietly and thankfully slunk away to a haven of male refuge - a local greasy spoon restaurant.

And, it was a damned good thing we did.

The group had descended on the scene like a coordinated flock of predatory birds, whooping and cawing and swooping in their own unique manner. Some lept from their vehicles and began unloading trays of flowers, and tubs of shrubs and supplies. Others rushed forward with various implements of work. After a brief parlay over coffee and biscotti, they quickly disbursed throughout the property like military squads on sharply defined missions. Some mixed potting soil, and some dug in flower beds while the squad leaders barked orders, diplomatically couched as 'suggestions' and 'why-don't-you's'.

The main difference from a military mission, which is usually serious and quietly executed, was their overall bright chatter, which the group members disbursed freely in the fresh morning air along with their copious layers of estrogen.

I'm talking about the so-called 'Woods Walkers' of the Cleveland and Cuyahoga County Ohio area. That's what I'm talking about.

The Woods Walkers are an informal group of women - 'men not allowed' - who gather monthly on specific Sundays, for long, energetic walks in the woods of Cleveland's greenbelt. The group is composed (mostly) of professional women and 'corporate women' - women in management positions of some of the most powerful companies in corporate America. We're talking type "A's" here, and women who are accustomed, to having their way, nay, DEDICATED and DETERMINED to having their way, and to having other folks jump when spoken to. No nonsense, and right damned now!

And they were on a mission. The group had decided amongst themselves, that my sister, who is a founding member of the group, was a candidate for their attention. Ostensibly, the reason was a terminal illness in the family. My sister's sweet and lovable husband is terminally ill with a brain tumor, and my sister has put her life on hold while she dedicates all her effort to his comfort, well-being and happiness. The Woods Walkers decided that it would be a good thing for the group to totally re-landscape my sister and brother-in-law's property with brand-new flowers and shrubs.

Ostensibly. But, my sister, a type "A" herself (and known as the 'flinty' type), suspects otherwise. She believes the group probably thought her own landscaping efforts were not up to snuff, and simply wanted a good crack at her property themselves. Whatever.

The mission was completed in less than four hours. A group of about twenty women, supercharged with estrogen and physical energy, had transformed my sister's landscape and property totally. Their were hundreds of new flowers freshly transplanted to flower beds, some newly prepared. New plants in pots were strategically placed on the patios. New flowers in hanging baskets festooned the eaves of the house. It was beautiful.

And, all very very touching.

We males returned from the safety of our refuge just as the group broke up and began drifting away. And I, for one, was totally blown away by the magnificence and magnanimity of the Woods Walkers of Cleveland and Cuyahoga County, Ohio.

But, a word to the wise males out there. Don't you, whatever you do, ever, ever get in the way of any Woods Walker mission . . .

The Unbelievable Unworthiness of An Unhinged Dick Cheney

From his undisclosed location an unscrupulous former VP Dick Cheney has been lobbing verbal pot shots at Barrack Obama on his emergency economic moves. The unbelievable Cheney is criticizing Obama for deficit spending, claiming it will wreck the country. It is now widely recognized the present economic mess's chief architects were the Bush administration and Republican political leaders in Congress.

This is the very same unenlightened Dick Cheney who in November, 2002 dismissively told Alan Greenspan, "Reagan showed that deficits don't matter."

This is the same unhonest Dick Cheney who, as CEO of Halliburton Corp., helped Saddam Hussein cheat on the 'Oil for Food' program in Iraq before the gulf war.

This is the same unlawful Dick Cheney who formed an 'Energy Task Force' which held 'at least 40 meetings' with companies involved with natural resource extractive industries and exploiting energy - and then refused to disclose the participants as legally required, even after being ordered to do so by Federal judges.

This is the same untrustworthy Cheney who organized the meetings and met with the participants at those meetings. Some of those involved later went on to establish their own personal notoriety, like Ken Lay of Enron, indicted on eleven counts of fraud, and later convicted on ten of them. Other energy industry leaders who attended later mimicked an untruthful Cheney by lying and denying they had ever attended.

This is the same unchaste Dick Cheney who while on an alcohol-fueled quail hunt in Texas shot an elderly friend Harry Whittington in the face, torso and chest, saying he 'mistook him for a bird'. Incredibly, Whittington later apologized to the unrighteous Cheney saying, "My family and I are deeply sorry for everything Vice President Cheney and his family have had to deal with." Consistent with other acts by the unhonorable Vice president Cheney, the actual facts of the incident were obscured by incompatible statements, and a late reporting of the accident to local authorities,. Incredibly, the Secret Service agents who accompanied the unworthy Cheney barred other authorities from interviewing the unclean Cheney until the next day!

A contemporary high-level Republican and White House intimate was quoted by Time magazine as saying, "This is either a cover-up story or an incompetence story." Et tu, Brute?

So much for this Vice President of the United States of America taking responsibility. That's one reason he left office with an 18% approval rating - even with over 30% of Americans claiming to be members of his own party! And, this corrupt, unqualified, ethically challenged person has the nerve to criticize a leader who accepts full responsibility for everything he does?

Please!

Republican Strategery Meeting

A Soul-Searching Meeting . . .

Michael Steele, chairman of the RNC began the meeting by saying, "I've called this meeting to discuss the direction to take the Republican Party."

"We're really in deep doo - doo." broke in Newt Gingrich quickly, attempting to take charge. "This Arlen Spector defection has really hurt us. If we don't do something fast, the Republican Party is toast."

"Yeah right! That's what you said when you resifned your post as Speaker and bugged out from Congress back in '97." Sneered Congressman John Boehner of Ohio. "I 'member that's when you wanted to train wreck the government 'cause you were pissed at Clinton. That cutesy little move sure didn't win you brownie points anywhere, did it dick shit? What kinda stuff were you sniffing back then anyhow?"

"Kiss my round, pink, well-cared-for sweet and fat ass!" Newt retorted huffily.

"Now, now boys." intoned Michael Steele, . "Remember who you are."

"Who the Hell you callin' 'boy', Boy?" demanded Newt.

Steele smacked him smartly up side the head.

"You wouldn't get away with that crap if we's back down in Kennesaw, GA." sobbed a mortified Newt as he rubbed his pinkened noggin. "Them good ol' boy's down there 'ould straighten out yer black ass for sure!"

Steele smacked him again quite hard, quickly and sharply before he could duck. Newt slunk off into a corner where he pouted darkly and cried, while his friend Eric Cantor tried to console him. "There, there, Newty." said Cantor. "There, there, Baby."

"We've got work to do guys." Steele went on, ignoring Newt. "We don't have time for the good-ol-boy stuff. Newt and all his bullshit and nonsense is old news We've got to work on saving the party George W. Bush and his bunch destroyed. Hell, they have the whole country believing Republicans are nothing but incompetent, corrupt, brain-dead religious fanatics out to destroy everyone's civil rights."

A chorus of general agreement ran round the table, until Senator Mitch McConnell bobbed his head turtle-like and got hurriedly to his feet.

"Hey now, let's not be so quick to throw out the baby with the bath water." Mitch insisted sonorously. "We owe those good-ol-boy bible thumpers and snake handlers a lot. If it wasn't for them, I never would have been elected in the first place. I'm not talking about the ones on welfare of course. I'm talking about the 20% or so of American dumb clucks who still believe in us and cling to the fantasy we're on their side."

Rush Limbaugh, attending as the uncrowned, and unofficial king of conservatives, now aggressively pounded the table and spoke for the first time: "Damned right! We won't ever lose those dummies who still think we're right - we've got those bozos for life. Hell, I even call 'em'Dittoheads' and they just eat that shit up. Would you believe they even call themselves that? Go figure!"

"But, speaking as the real head of the party, I've gotta insist we get rid any damned RINO's - 'Republicans In Name Only' - left around who might decide to defect too. I'm talking right now about people like Olympia Snowe, Susan Collins and that God-damned maverick McCain!"

"Now, just hold on a gosh-damned minute!" shouted an angry John McCain from the back of the room, but few heard him beyond a few feet and he was otherwise ignored. Neither Snowe nor Collins were in attendance.

Bobby Jindal of Louisiana, recently recognized by many Republicans as their newest young up and comer, now put in his two cents' worth: "From where I sit, it's really pretty simple: We either need to find something else good to scare the hell out of everyone with, or find some WMD's in Iraq to prove we had it right over there. Since it looks like both of those are out, and as much as I hate to admit it, we might have to rebrand ourselves.. How's about 'Vote For Change'?"

"That's been done you ninny." retorted Steele sharply. "Obama did that."

"I can see Russia from my house!" shouted Sarah Palin over the general din, but everyone studiously ignored her, including Orrin Hatch who snored softly in his corner.

Steele continued, "We're in trouble guys. Newt was right about one thing. We ARE in deep doo-doo. We're out of money for one thing, and contributions are way down. Our corporate sugar daddies are bailing out by the hundreds and going to the other side."

"Speaking of bailing out, can't we qualify for bailout money from the Stimulus Bill?" demanded Palin. "We can call ourselves the 'Republican National Bank' or something."

"Go on back over to Nordstrom or Neiman-Marcus, Sarah." said Steele. "You're qualified there, but way out of your pay grade here."

"Well, I never!" snorted Palin indignantly.

"Oh, hell yes you did!" cried a suddenly re-energized John McCain. "For one thing you damned sure train wrecked my run for president, you bitch! And another thing, everybody knows all your bullshit 'abstinence' talk is just so much horse puckey after your daughter got knocked up - and on your watch too as governor. What kind of damned mother are you anyway?"

Palin retorted angrily, "Well by God at least I don't need a shot of oxygen just to wake up each day! And if your damned people had listened to me, you'd be president right this minute, and I'd be half a heartbeat away myself. I'm still mad as hell about all that. Listen numbskull, you want to be real careful about making this pig bull, er, ah, er, I mean a pit bull in lipstick mad at you. I could go off like a pit bull with PMS!"

"Yeah, right! You might be real dangerous if you'd stop shooting yourself and everybody around you in the foot too." said a quick thinking McCain as he ducked the shoe Palin threw at him.

"Meeting's adjourned!" shouted an exasperated Michael Steele.


* (Disclaimer: This is an imaginary account of a strategy session among today's Republican leadership)

The Word of God and the Flat Earthers

'God works in mysterious ways' is a phrase used to show God's 'works', though seemingly onerous at one particular time, might, or could turn out well in the long run . And indeed, on the 'mysterious' point at least, I must agree, for if there really is a god, he (or she, or it) certainly does work mysteriously, and most convincingly for some people. So convincingly in fact, there is no arguing with them. Facts and realities are simply ignored or 'explained' away.

Many fundamental Christians, who interpret the Bible literally, and as fact, sincerely believe for example:

• The Earth is a mere 6012 years old, and will turn 6013 at 9:00 AM, October 26, 2009 - as calculated & determined by Archbishop Usher in Ireland in 1654;

• There is no such thing as evolution, but that everything on Earth today, was created in it's present form, by God, (By God!) 'in the beginning';

• And, perhaps most incredibly, there are even some today who still seriously argue the Earth is flat! Members of the 'International Flat Earth Research Society' state a part of their mission is to 'Replace the science religion . . . with SANITY'.

These folks also believe the Moon is 32 miles in diameter, the Sun only a bit larger, and both circle the Earth less than 3,000 miles away. They believe there is no heliocentric universe and say, 'Just look up! It's obvious the Sun, Moon and stars are all circling us while we remain in one place!'

They go to great lengths to 'prove' the earth is flat, and that space travel is a hoax, that the notion of a spherical Earth is a huge plot by governments and the media. But, the premier proof is, hold on, wait for it, wait for it . . . . Surprise! The Holy Bible! First Chronicles, 16:30 is cited: "He has fixed the earth firm, immovable," Also, Psalms 93:1" "Thou [God] hast fixed the earth immovable and firm."

There are other scriptures quoted too, but you get the drift. When the Holy Bible is quoted, that's all the proof anyone needs! Ipso, facto, done deal! (Flat Earthers even refer to themselves as 'FE's'. Honest. You just can't make this kind of stuff up!)

On the other hand, many, perhaps more rational Christians, faced with, and obviously disturbed by FACTS, go to great lengths to 'prove' the Flat Earthers CAN NOT base their proofs on the Bible. Go figure!

And, inevitably, there are those who poke some seriously fun ridicule at the FE's too!

What is even more surprising, at least to me, is to find that the Flat Earthers have been around only about 200 years or so, and prior to that, the ancients had believed the Earth to be spherical since the fifth century BC. The Flat Earth 'Theory' turns out to be a notion spread by more recent Biblical literalists.

Biblical literalists simply cannot be bothered by facts. A great example of this occured in 1897, when a man by the name of Joshua Slocum - a self-described Christian himself - sailed a small boat, the 'Spray', around the world. He published a book ('Sailing Alone Around The World') in 1900, which is now a classic in nautical literature. In chapter XVII Slocum describes his experience in meeting three representatives sent by Paulus Krüger, then president of the South African Republic (Transvaal), and for whom the present day gold 'Krügerand' is named. Krüger was a strong believer in a flat earth, and went to great lengths to prove it.

Here is Slocum's account:

"It sounds odd to hear scholars and statesmen say the world is flat; but it is a fact that three Boers favored by the opinion of President Krüger prepared a work to support that contention. While I was at Durban they came from Pretoria to obtain data from me, and they seemed annoyed when I told them that they could not prove it by my experience."

"I went ashore and left these three wise men poring over the Spray's track on a chart of the world, which, however, proved nothing to them, for it was on Mercator's projection, and behold, it was "flat. The next morning I met one of the party in a clergyman's garb, carrying a large Bible, not different from the one I had read. He tackled me, saying, 'If you respect the Word of God, you must admit that the world is flat.' "

"'If the Word of God stands on a flat world - ' I began." '

"What!' cried he, losing himself in a passion, and making as if he would run me through with a assagai. 'What!' he shouted in astonishment and rage, while I jumped aside to dodge the imaginary weapon. had this good but, misguided fanatic been armed with a real weapon, the crew of the Spray would have died a martyr there and then." "A pamphlet by these Transvaal geographers, made up of arguments from sources high and low to prove their theory, was mailed to me before I sailed from Africa . . ."

Here were three, probably well-paid people, sent to dispute the empirical FACT that someone had actually sailed AROUND a spherical world! And, that only because that FACT was in conflict with the words of their Bible. Such is the danger presented by those who sincerely believe, and act upon the following canon I've seen on bumper stickers:

'THE BIBLE SAID IT, I BELIEVE IT, AND THAT SETTLES IT!'

Always remember: 'Ignorance may sometimes be cured by education, but Stupidity is now and forevermore!'

Beating The Hell Out of Very Dead Horses

Back in August, 2007 I posted in this blog an open letter to Alaska's senators at the time, Ted Stevens, and Lisa Murkowski. In that letter I used the analogy of 'Beating a Dead Horse.' The phrase has come to mean insisting on re-doing something that has not worked.

No matter how many times you point errors out to people, some will stubbornly remain hell bound on doing things their way. Some simply will not allow realities to intrude. Such is the state the 'conservative' wing of the Republican Party finds itself today. It is in fact, in a state of denial.

Conservative Republicans today implacably insist on their 'bed rock basics' which they claim as their 'core values'. To wit:

• Anti-abortion, & denying individuals the right to choose;

• Christianity as the basis for our government;
  

• Lower taxation - especially for the already rich;

• 'Social conservatism' which translates into denying civil rights for homosexuals;

• Supporting the right for anyone to purchase, own and use military assault weapons.

But unfortunately for today's Republicans, here are the stark realities:

• On abortion: Poll after poll show that a majority of Americans identify themselves as 'pro-choice' or support an individual's right to choose;

• On Christianity in government: A large majority of Americans defend separation of church and state, despite a majority who claim to be Christians;

• On Taxation: No one likes to pay taxes, but every rational person recognizes the need for taxation 'for the common good'. Polls show people are split about even on the current level of taxation:

• On civil rights for homosexuals: A hefty majority of Americans support full civil rights for homosexuals, including marriage. Several states have recently passed laws permitting marriage between homosexuals;

• On the ownership of assault weapons: A majority of polls show a majority of Americans support stricter regulation on gun ownership, and registration of guns.

Where does this leave conservative Republicans and their insistence on their 'core values'? Well, ahem. Solidly to the right of the majority of Americans. Leave aside for the moment the Republicans' generic demonization of anyone who disagrees with them as 'un-American' or even traitorous. Leave aside their insistence on the wholesale use of fear tactics to the disgust of most Americans. And, even leave aside their asinine and implacable policy of refusing to even talk with anyone perceived as an 'enemy' (read, 'anyone of opposite or different political persuasions').

How can you expect to come to terms with someone like Mahmoud Ahmadinejad of Iran, Fidel Castro of Cuba or Hugo Chávez of Venezuela if you refuse to even talk to them for Heavens sakes? Such attitudes leave few options short of blockades, economic sanctions or war, none of which promote amicable relationships. Sometimes I am bound to wonder just what planet these kinds of Republicans are from anyhow?

After losing two straight elections, Republicans are said to be in disarray today, as Barack Obama and Democrats in general ride on waves of approval, optimism and hope. I see this as the inevitable result of the recent Republican 'head-in-the-sand' positions on nearly everything, and their denial of political realities. They have in truth, moved very, very far from the Party of Lincoln. It is even conceivable we might see the total disintegration of the Republican Party as we know it.

But, I don't think so. Sure, the capture of the party by the radical southern and western factions, allied with evangelical Christians, has moved the party far to the right of everyone else. Yet, there remains a core of decent, moderate people at the heart of the party who can still see the realities. Though pushed to the side at the moment, I believe clearer, saner heads will eventually prevail to bring the party back towards the center. Otherwise they are finished. Americans in general do not want radical fanatics running our country. We simply will not permit it for long.

After eight years of right-wing excess, Americans are now solidly pulling the reins back towards the center. The Republicans have little choice but to rejoin the majority of Americans if they hope to retain any credibility as a party. I sincerely hope they may do so.

And beating long-dead horses just won't cut it.